Pain
by the-vampire-act
Summary: Slash. Reid's leg is hurting more than it should. As Morgan comforts his friend, he discovers the shocking reason why. Pleaz R&R!
1. Pain

Pain -Chapter One

"...........Just a little storyto get the wheel moving....Pleaz R&R! Taken place right after '100...And yes, as in 3 days grace song"

Spencer Reid knocked on Morgan's door-wobbling unsteadily. Once Morgan answered, he immediately saw the distraught look on his friend's face. "You.......you said that I could come to you if I needed to, right?" he said in a shaky voice.

"Yeah kid........Are you okay?" Morgan asked. Before Morgan could even guide Reid inside, Reid dropped his cane and threw himself into Morgan's arms- crying. "Come on Pretty Boy. Let's get you a blanket- you're shaking." Reid nodded in Morgan's chest, and let Morgan help guide him inside. Morgan let Reid gently collapse on to his couch, and sat down next to him. He pulled Reid back to his position on his chest. Reid gladly cried on Morgan, who had his arms wrapped protectively around him.

"Hey, what is all of this about?" Morgan softly prodded. But Reid didn't answer. All he did was pull closer to his chest and started crying heavier. "Calm down Reid, it's alright. I've got you." Reid sniffled and tried to control the wave of shakes that coursed through his body before Morgan noticed it, but Morgan did. "Here," Morgan mumbled as he pulled a blanket over Reid's small body. "Please Pretty Boy, talk to me."

"Just......feel bad, is all." Reid mumbled as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Don't lie to me, Reid."

"It........it all just became too much, I guess." he tried again. "Just....a lots' happened lately. I'm tired and I'm getting weak. I just don't know how much more I can take." Reid said.

"Pretty Boy, what do you mean?" Morgan asked, pulling Reid up until he could see his eyes.

"It hurts......." Reid whimpered after a minute, losing his eye contact with Morgan.

"You're leg? Still?" Morgan asked. Was that why Reid was crying? His leg was hurting more than it should? Reid nodded as he lowered his left hand onto his leg. "Have you told you doctor?" Reid shook his head. "Why?"

"Because......he told him it wasn't suppose to."

"Well, there might be something wrong if it is still hurting. Reid, I think you need to talk to him." Reid shook his head no.

"No.......nothing's wrong." he mumbled.

"Kid, you came to my house in tears because of how bad the pain was. Something's wrong." But Reid couldn't hear his friend. His eyes were drooping shut, and he was loosing consciousness. Finally, he fell to sleep, and he couldn't feel the pain.....

"Reid?" Morgan asked before realizing he had fallen to sleep. "Damn it" he muttered as he gently pushed his younger friend off him, he was going to have to talk to the kid once he woke up, but he wasn't going to wake him up now- he finally looked at peace.......

"........Very short prologue, I know. But first off, a few things you should know. This will eventually be Morgan/Spencey slash- my first multi-chap story I will be doing as a slash! Its not going to have many chaps if everything goes according to plan- somewhere between 4 and 6. if u have any request as to what is wrong with Spenceys leg or just anything at all you want me to add, go ahead and PM/Review me a request. Even if you want to request a drabble/ONESHOT. With that said, Pleaz R&R!"


	2. Comforter

Pain- Chapter 2

Comforter

".......Im glad that I got such a good response from this story! Thnx everyone! I hope you guys like where I take this story!"

When Spencer Reid woke up he realized he wasn't alone. After his mind processed where he was and who was with him, he crawled closer to Morgan and clinged to his shirt. His leg was killing him, but he refused to take the narcotics that could dull the pain.

Derek Morgan felt the younger man pulling closer to him, making his heart break. He placed his hand on Reid's hair, gently stroking the hairs down. He felt as Reid's breathing became more relaxed at his touch; he was glad that the action gave him at least a little bit of comfort.

"I know you're awake." Morgan said after awhile.

"I know _you're _awake." Reid mumbled sleepily.

"I'm calling both of us in; I'm taking you to see the doctor." Reid didn't bother arguing, knowing that there was no way of convincing him that he didn't need to see the doctor.

"If I go, can I go back to sleep?" Reid asked, his eyes already half-way shut.

"You know I would have let you sleep in anyway." Morgan smirked. "Go back to bed; I'm gonna make a few phone calls." Reid gave Morgan a small nod as he walked out of the room...

Morgan muttered a 'damn it' as his cell phone started ringing. "Morgan."

"Hey Morgan, we have a case." JJ greeted. Morgan sighed, thinking that they wouldn't be going to the doctor's today. "Is everything alright?" JJ asked.

"Uh.....Yeah." he lied. He wasn't sure if Reid wanted him to tell the team or not, so he decided that Reid should be the one to tell them.

"Okay, I will see you soon." JJ said, unconvinced.

"Alright; oh, and Reid's with me right now, so you don't have to call him." Morgan added last second.

"Thanks, see you guys soon." With that, JJ hung up.

Morgan quickly got dressed before heading back to his room. He knocked on the door lightly, hoping Reid was still up.

Reid groaned, not wanting to get up. "What is it?" Reid asked.

"We have a case they need us in now." Morgan answered.

"Fine." Reid sighed, slowly getting up.

"Do you need any help?" Morgan asked.

"With that?" Reid said, not registering at first what Morgan was referring to. And then he realized what he was wearing. 'Oh,' he thought. 'This may be a problem.'

"We still have about an hour before he have to leave. I can run by your place and grab something for you to wear so you can take a shower and get ready." Morgan suggested. Reid nodded, not really seeing another option.

"Alright; good plan." Reid muttered, still not fully awake.

"I'll be back soon, kid." As Morgan dismissed himself, Reid headed off to Morgan's bathroom.....

Just shortly after 15 minutes, Reid had finished his shower and was waiting for Morgan. He wrapped the thin, white towel close to his thin body, feeling a bit insecure as he sat on his friend's toilet, all-but naked.

Finally, after a few more minutes, Morgan arrived.

"Sorry it took me so long," Morgan started as he entered his house, 'I was stopped by one of your neighbor's. She was an older lady who seemed worried that you hadn't showed up home this morning."

Morgan pulled the door to and slid in a change of clothes for Reid, who took them gratefully.

"Thanks." Reid said. "That must've been Gracie; she's always keeping an eye on the younger tenants on my floor."

After a few more minutes, both Reid and Morgan were ready to leave for work. Morgan help the door open for Reid as he limped out and into the car.....

After the briefing in the round table room, the team filed onto the jet. Hotch suggested they all get some sleep since the case was going to be very demanding, and they wouldn't be landing for quite some time.

Morgan glanced over at Reid worriedly; he was glad that the younger agent was sleeping, though, knowing that he was in pain.

"What's wrong with him?" Hotch, who was sitting across from him, asked. Morgan sighed, just now realizing how obvious he had been when he was glancing at Reid.

"If he wants you to know, he can tell you himself." Morgan answered.

"Morgan, if it will affect his performance in work, I need to know...."

"He trusts me; I'm not going to betray him like that. I don't know if it will affect his work, but if it does, you should ask him, not me." Morgan replied solemnly. Hotch nodded, understanding the situation. With that, the two agents turned off the jet light and tried their best to fall to sleep...

Reid and Morgan decided to share a room together, as per usual. Morgan threw his stuff n the floor as Reid collapsed onto his bed, letting out a sigh as his legs felt a bit more relieved from the pain.

"Still hurts?" Morgan asked as he took off his shoes.

"Yeah." Reid mumbled into his pillow. He was exhausted; all he wanted to do was sleep, knowing that there the pain would subside.

"Reid, I think that you should tell Hotch about this. If it still hurts as bad as it did last night, I don't think you can risk hurting it more." Morgan said. "I mean, I know you won't be on the field either way, but I still think you should talk to Hotch."

"No, not yet." Reid answered. "Just let me sleep a little more, and if it still hurts I will tell him."

"Fine," Morgan sighed. "Get some sleep." With that, Morgan turned off the lights....

Spencer Reid woke up as a wave of pain shot up through his leg. He bit his tongue as he felt the pressure increase in desperate attempt not to wake up Morgan. Deciding that his leg may feel better after a shower, Reid got up and reached for a change of clothes. He grabbed his favorite purple shirt, his black pants, a polka-dotted sock and a green striped sock.

Before heading into the bathroom, he glanced at the clock. It was only 12:30 AM.

Once he was in the bathroom, he propped his cane against the sink as he quickly stripped off his clothes.

'Odd,' he thought as he looked down at his injured leg, 'I wonder where those scratches came from...'

He dismissed the thought casually, assuming they were from the surgery. He turned on the 'hot' labeled knob and almost instantly the water came down. He grabbed hold of the railing, being careful not to trip as he entered the shower. At first, everything went well; he hadn't fallen or tripped once and his leg was feeling a little better, but then another shot of pain ceased his leg. The shocked caused him to lose his balance. As he fell, his head hit the glass door.

Before he knew it, he laid unconscious on the cold floor....

When Derek Morgan woke, he couldn't find Reid. He wasn't in his bed and he wasn't in the small sitting area that their room had. Finally, he realized that the shower was running.

Feeling relieved, he turned to the alarm clock. 1:30 AM. He sighed as he got up, walking toward the bathroom.

"Hey Reid-Man, mind if I step in for a second? I just wanna grab a change of clothes..." Morgan asked through the door. No answer. "Reid? Reid!" Feeling that something was wrong, he kicked down the door- fortunately not off its hinges. He pulled the glass door open so he could see if Reid was okay. When he opened it, Reid was on the floor.

"Reid! Spencer, wake up!' Morgan turned off the water as he pulled the soaking-wet Reid out of the shower. Slowly, the freezing cold water turned off. He kept his eyes up, not wanting to embarrass Reid by accidentally 'seeing him'. Carefully, he wrapped a towel around him too-thin waist and shrugged on one of his t-shirts, which was wearing him more than he was wearing it. Seeing how pale his friend's skin was and the fact that he was unconsciously shivering, he carried him to the bed so he could wrap the comforter around him. He moved Reid's hair out of his face and gently stroked his cheek.

"Spencer, wake up...." he said quietly.

Finally, Reid opened his eyes. He seemed confused at first, but then it seemed as though what had happened finally registered.

"Spencer, you were passed out in the shower." Morgan said, hoping Reid would elaborate.

"Yeah, I was taking a shower. I....I was holding onto the railing, but I slipped anyway. My head hit the glass....." he answered, still sounding a little dazed.

"Was it because of your leg? Does it still hurt?" Morgan asked.

"Not like it did before." Reid said. "Please don't make me tell Hotch..."

"Reid, you just passed out because of it!"

"Please, don't make me tell him..." he repeated desperately.

"One more thing happens- so much as a trip!- and you have to tell him." Morgan warned.

"Fine, fine. I can live with that." Reid said quickly.

"Are you at least okay?" Reid nodded in response. "Don't lie to me." Morgan said simply.

"Just a little cold, but I'm fine...." Reid said, trying to hide his shaking hands. Morgan could tell Reid was trying to hide something, and when he saw that Reid was sitting on his hands he had a feeling he knew what it was.

"Show me your hands."

"No." Reid said, shaking his head.

"Why?"

"Because they're cold." Morgan smirked at that. He had a feeling his hand were shaking, but not from being cold. Morgan gently pulled at Reid's hands, which were currently underneath the comforter, and tugged them closer to him. He held the soft, nimble hands in his own, making Reid relax just a bit more. Reid shivered as more of his skin became exposed.

Then he realized that he wasn't wearing his own clothes. Morgan looked up at Reid, who was now looking down at his body. "I didn't look, honest." he reassured. "I know you're more of a personal person, so I wrapped the towel around your waist before I saw anything. "

"Are you sure?" Reid said softly, almost vulnerably. He didn't like when people looked too closely at his body; he had always been self-conscious about his body. He knew he was too thin, not muscular, and not all-together that appealing to look at.

As if reading his mind, Morgan started talking. "Hey, don't do that to yourself. You're plenty attractive, and you have the most beautiful face I've seen. I like that you're not that muscular- anyone can be muscular, Reid! Don't you know that the little curve in your side, that thin frame of yours, and your amazing hair make you different from the rest of those muscle-bound egotistic lady's men?" he asked as he started playing with said 'amazing hair'.

"I....I thought you said you didn't look." Reid mumbled, feeling ashamed of his body compared to Morgan's. Although what Morgan said was nice, they were just words. Anyone could lie using words...

"I didn't, Pretty Boy. Anyone can see those things from just looking at you. You shouldn't be ashamed of that."

"Can...Can I just sleep now?" Reid whispered, fighting tears that had already began to fall. Morgan nodded as he wiped away tears. He pulled Reid close to his own body as Reid silently shook. He was still freezing, but he wished that Morgan would let him go; he didn't want to be so close to someone who looked so much better than him. It was only making him more self-conscious.

Morgan sighed as he felt Reid's insecurity resurface. He just wished he could convince Reid that he was beautiful as saw him as....

"...........The last part I added so I could slash them quicker. They should be a couple in at least 2 chaps, if not the next one. And updates will almost never be this quick/long, Im sick so u got lucky :) hehehe....Pleaz R&R!"


	3. Confrontations

Pain- Chapter 3

Confrontation

"...You're all very lucky I'm still sick. Hehehe...Oooh, raise ur hand if ur a male CM writer! Im taking a poll...(not officially, of course:) Er, maybe I shouldnt have picked my slash story to ask that...hehehe...Pleaz R&R! OH! And there wont be much-if any-focus on the case. "

Spencer moaned as the alarm clock went off; neither Reid or Morgan had gotten much sleep the previous night, especially after Reid's shower scare. Morgan couldn't find it in him to allow himself to sleep after what had happened to his friend; he was too worried. All through the night he held Reid in a gentle hug, afraid that something bad might happen again. He knew that Reid wouldn't mind, either, which worked as encouragement.

"Come on Pretty Boy; Hotch is expecting us on the case." Morgan sighed, reluctantly getting up.

"I want to stay here forever." Reid whispered, head still buried in Morgan's chest.

"Me too." Morgan replied. Reid gave Morgan a small smile as he spoke the words.

Morgan pulled Reid out of bed and into the sitting room, where they had laid the luggage. Reid grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom, while Morgan stayed in the room to change. A few minutes passed before they were out the door...

On the way to the police station, Morgan asked Reid if he was going to tell Hotch about his leg.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him about what happened last night, but I do think you should at least tell him that it's bothering you a bit more than usual." Morgan explained.

"I know, Morgan. We've already talked about this; I said I would if it still hurt in the morning, and I am pretty sure it's safe to say that it still hurts- especially after the...uh...incident." Reid said.

"I'm glad that you're going to tell him." Morgan said.

"How are we going to explain the cuts on your face?" Morgan asked.

"Uh...I opened a cupboard and it swung out and hit me?"

"No; that's not very believable. How about something like...Man, I have no clue." Morgan deflated, shaking her head.

"Maybe they won't notice." Reid said hopefully. Morgan smirked at that.

"I highly doubt they won't notice."

"Oh! How about we run over to the gas station and buy something to cover it up?" Reid suggested.

"You know, that just might work." Morgan smiled. "Come on, let's go..."

Morgan carefully applied the blush to his friend's face. They had asked the woman behind the register if they had any make-up that would his face still pale but cover the scars. She directed them to the beauty department, where she gave them a liquid blush that was made for just that purpose. They bought the make-up and thanked the woman. Now, they were in the parking lot applying the make-up.

"Did it work?" Reid asked. Morgan nodded his head yes as he applied some finishing touches to the make-up. Once he was satisfied, he thew the small bottle in Reid's messenger bag and started driving again...

Once Morgan and Reid got to the police station, Hotch and Prentiss were waiting at their SUV.

"What took you guys so long?" Prentiss smirked.

"Sorry guys; our alarm clock broke." Morgan lied smoothly. Hotch nodded his head before motioning for the duo to get closer to them. "Morgan, I'm sending you and Rossi to the crime scene. I want Prentiss to stay with JJ to help control the press and interview the victim's parents. Reid, you're coming with me to the autopsy. Okay?" The team nodded in understandment. Before walking away, Morgan gave Reid a supportive glance. Reid smiled back...

Hotch and Reid had discovered that the UnSub had poisoned his victims. They assumed that he had poisoned them to make kidnapping them easier. They had discovered that the UnSub stabbed his victims four times before he actually shot them.

On their way out of the autopsy building, they headed to the black SUV. As Reid entered the car, he lost his balance. Fortunately, Hotch grabbed hold of Reid's waist, stopping him from falling on the cement.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Actually, there was something I had to talk to you about..."

When they were both in the car, Hotch motioned for Reid to continue.

"My leg' been hurting more than usual lately. It's not really a big deal, and I can handle it. If it gets worse, I promise I will pull myself off the case. I just wanted you to know in case it does get too unbearable." Reid explained.

"Is that why you tripped just now?" Morgan asked.

"Partly; I am pretty clumsy." Reid blushed, convincing Hotch that it was genuine.

Hotch glanced over at Reid for a second, taking his eyes of the road. Reid still looked a bit worried, though, like something was still bothering.

"What else is it, Reid?" Hotch asked.

"Uh yeah, actually." Reid nodded. "I...I found some scratch marks over my leg."

"Like surgery scars?' Hotch asked.

"At first I thought they looked like surgery scars, but then I looked closer..." Reid hinted.

"Do you think...?" Hotch asked, looking at Reid with concern.

"I think it's possible." Reid answered.

"There's a very good chance that it is happening again, but there's also a good chance that it isn't." Hotch weighed.

"Should I talk to my doctor about it?" Reid asked.

"I think you should, Reid. You remember what almost happened the last time..."

"But it's different now; I'm not doing this consciously." Reid interjected.

"I don't know if that's worse or better, Reid." Hotch sighed.

"I know." Reid said.

"Did you talk to Morgan about it?" Hotch asked.

"What do you mean?" Reid asked, his eyebrows raised.

"I mean that you two seem like you guys are getting pretty close." Hotch explained.

"We are pretty close; everyone on the team is." Reid said, still confused.

"I mean, more than the rest of the team. What do you guys talk about?" Reid looked back at Hotch, almost looking offended. "I'm sorry; I was out of line. I was merely curious, and I didn't mean to apply anything about you two."

"That's okay, Hotch. We are pretty close." Reid admitted. "We talk about the job- like how we felt after a case. Like Morgan helps me get through some things. He helps talks some things out with me."

Hotch noticed the relaxed expression on Reid's face and the way he talked with affection. He wondered exactly how close Reid and Morgan had actually gotten...

"That's nice." Hotch said, although he wasn't so sure of how nice it was.

The rest of he ride was silent. It stayed that way for the short trip back...

When they got to the police station, Hotch asked Morgan if he could talk to him.

"So, does Reid know that you two are in a relationship together?" he asked.

"What?" Morgan asked, shocked.

"He told me that you talk him through things and help him through things. But it wasn't just that that made me feel that you two are together, though. What really set me off was the way he talked about you. I'm almost positive that if you two aren't in a relationship, Reid has a crush on you." he paused. " And I'm pretty sure you have a crush on him."

Morgan sighed, knowing that Hotch was right. He did like Reid- a lot.

"What if I do like Reid?" Morgan asked. "Would that be such a bad thing? I mean, we're both single and our jobs take up a lot of our time, and being that we work together, we actually understand how hard it is to work in our line of work."

"That was always something Haley never understood." Hotch admitted. "And I never said it was a bad thing. I'm just saying that you need to confront him on your feelings, because if you toy with him only to find out he doesn't feel the same way, and if you accidentally hurt him, I can guarantee that I won't be the only one you'll have to hear from." Hotch warned.

"You really don't have any idea how much I appreciate hearing that." Morgan laughed. "It's nice to know that I'm not the only one looking out for the kid. It's also good to know that if I hurt him, I'll have someone to put me back in line."

"You really like him, don't you?" Hotch asked, serious.

"Yeah, I suppose I do."

"...Im going to tell you right now that the minute I decided to make this a slash, the focus changed from the pain to the relationship. Im willing to meet you guys ½ way: The focus is on the relationship that develops because of Spenceys pain .Ta-da! Heheh...Pleaz R&R!"


	4. Realization

Pain- Chapter 4

Realizations

"...So this one will focus on Morgan and Reid talking about being together and more on his leg in the very end. Pleaz R&R!"

The BAU team had done all they could for the day. Hotch told his team to go back to the hotel for the night to get some sleep. No one protested and left without a word.

When Morgan and Reid reached their hotel room, Reid took a shower and got ready for bed, Morgan doing the same, but in reverse order. Once they were both ready for bed, Morgan beckoned for Reid to sit next to him on his bed. Reid was reluctant at first but joined Morgan nonetheless.

"What is it, Morgan?" Reid asked, shaking his wet hair on Morgan's bed.

"Hey, hey, hey! Watch it Pretty Boy!" Morgan whined as he got wet from his hair. Reid laughed at that.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." Reid answered with an innocent smile.

"Faking innocent." Morgan muttered under his breath. "You're damn lucky I think you're cute."

"You think I'm cute?" Reid questioned, almost sounding hopeful.

"Well, yeah." Morgan admitted. "And, and maybe a more than a little, too."

"What are you trying to say?"

Morgan sighed, realizing it was time to confess. "Reid, _Spencer, _I like you. A lot." Morgan started, turning to face Reid. "And I think that you like me, too." Morgan smiled, noticing the slight blush creeping up on Reid's face.

"You called me Spencer." Reid beamed. "You've never called me Spencer before."

"Wow; I tell you that I like you and the only thing you can focus on is the fact that I called you by your first name." Morgan laughed, pulling Reid closer to him by his shoulder. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I guess you'll just have to teach me, then." Reid sighed. Suddenly, Reid sat in an upright position, catching Morgan off guard. Reid looked Morgan in his eyes and smiled. "I like you too."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." Morgan smiled back. "I've liked you for a while now, actually."

"So have I." Reid agreed.

"I wonder what took us so long to admit it to ourselves." Morgan mused out loud, making Reid raised is eyebrows. "What?"

"That was a pretty dumb question." Reid replied bluntly.

"What?" Morgan asked, getting annoyed. "Why is it a dumb question?"

"Well, I've never been in a relationship before, and you've always been a, society uses the term, a lady's man." Reid started. "Neither of us knew we were...gay until just recently, and we're profilers. We-we tend to block out our emotions unlike most people." Reid babbled, obviously nervous. He was going to continue, but seeing the look on Morgan's face, he decided it would be best if he just shut up.

"Slow down, Pretty Boy. It doesn't have to be like that anymore. We can start over this time; just you and me finally together." Morgan promised, absent-mindedly rubbing Reid's leg. Reid smiled at the words, thinking about how much he'd love for that to happen. Just Morgan and himself lying around in bed as they held each other close. He'd like that to happen, but he frowned as a sudden thought came to his mind.

"What is it, Reid?" Morgan asked, seeing the frown on Reid's face.

"Our job. We're not allowed to be together in our job." Reid said sadly. "What do you do?"

"I don't think Hotch or anyone else on the team would mind. If we can just keep it from Strauss, we will be fine. And trust me, with our baby girl waitin' for us in Quantico, Strauss won't find out." Morgan reassured.

"Oh, okay." Reid said, letting out a sigh of relief. He really wanted it to work between them, but he was still a little nervous about the whole thing.

"Anything else you wanna clear the air about?" Morgan asked. Reid thought for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, what is it?"

"Mor-_Derek," _Reid corrected himself, "I'm-I'm a virgin."

"Really?" Morgan asked, raising a curious look at Reid, who nodded in conformation. "My boyfriend's a virgin." Morgan said out loud with a smile. "Well, that's something special, isn't it?" Morgan asked rhetorically as he kissed Reid's forehead.

"Is-is that okay?" Reid asked in a small voice..

"Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be?"

"It's just...You've had a lot of experience. I haven't had any. I just don't want to, you know, hold you down. I know you'll want to, uh, have sex, but I don't know when I'll be ready for that." Reid answered, almost sounding afraid. "I mean, we could try, but I don't know.."

"Spencer, stop right there. That's not fair to you, you know. I won't _ever _make you feel like that. I refuse to make you feel like crap. And if I ever do, I give you, Hotch, Garcia, hell, everyone's permission to kick my ass. If you ever don't feel comfortable doing something, just tell me. I'll stop, and that's a promise." Morgan said sternly. Reid smiled up at him, nuzzling closer to Morgan's chest.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

They held each other close for a minute before breaking away. "I suppose you should go to bed." Morgan mumbled. "We have a long day ahead of us."

"Yeah, I know." Reid sighed as he reluctantly got up. He hurried to his own bed and laid down, exhausted, It didn't last very long, though. After a few minutes, Reid already felt cold and lonely without Morgan. He sighed before getting up again.

Morgan smiled as he saw a slightly out-of-it Reid struggle over to him and plop down on his bed. Morgan pulled up the covers and offered for Reid to joined him underneath them. Reid, without another thought, threw his body underneath the covers and closer to Morgan, who embraced him lovingly. He ran his hand over Reid's skinny chest, almost trance-like. He let his mind shut down as he felt Reid closer to him.

Reid's eyes popped open as he felt Morgan's hand over his bare chest. He had spilled his coffee over his night shirt and had decided to hand wash it. Knowing that it was just Morgan in the room with him, he had decided to sleep without his shirt.

Now he was regretting it. He knew that Morgan didn't mean to do it, but he was. Morgan was thumbing over his nipple, making him uncomfortable. He wished that Morgan would stop; it was distracting him. He sighed, knowing that he'd never be able to sleep with Morgan's thumb constantly hitting his sensitive nipple. Thinking back to the conversation that he had had with Morgan, he started forming words.

"Derek, can you stop doing that, please?" he asked. One of Morgan's eyes popped open, wondering what he was talking about.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"Uh, thumbing over my nipple? It's, uh, distracting me from sleeping." Reid explained in an embarrassed voice.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't even realize I was doing it." Quickly, Morgan removed his hand from Reid's chest, revealing a now red nipple. "Er, sorry." he mumbled again as he saw the redness from the harsh glow of the lamp he had left on for Reid (knowing he was afraid of the dark).

"Oh, its' okay. I just have sensitive skin, in case you couldn't tell." Reid replied. "Along with other sensitive things." he added to himself.

"That's okay; I'm glad you told me so I know for future reference." Morgan replied. "And, if it's still sore in the morning, tell me and I can out some lotion on it."

"Er, I'd rather apply it myself." Reid answered, thoughts of Morgan's rough, large hands trying to apply the soft crème to his chest coming to him mind. To say the least, he didn't think it'd end pleasantly.

A few minutes later, Reid and Morgan fell to sleep...

Derek Morgan woke up to a cold, wet feeling on his bed. When he moved his arm from Reid's waist to see what it was, he gasped, accidentally waking Reid up.

"What is it?" Reid asked, barely awake.

"Reid ,what the hell happened to your leg?"

Reid frowned, looking down at his leg. Suddenly, he knew what had worried Morgan so much...

Hi leg was stained with blood and scratch marks...

"...And the truth comes out! My-oh-my! Hehehe...Pleaz R&R?"


	5. Suggestions

Pain- Chapter 5

Suggestions

"...My, you people are demanding! (cough, codename:penguin cough). So I dont get murdered, heres an update! Hope you guys like this! Oh, and check out my poll(which involves poles) R&R?"

_Derek Morgan woke up to a cold, wet feeling on his bed. When he moved his arm from Reid's waist to see what it was, he gasped, accidentally waking Reid up._

_"What is it?" Reid asked, barely awake._

_"Reid ,what the hell happened to your leg?"_

_Reid frowned, looking down at his leg. Suddenly, he knew what had worried Morgan so much..._

_Hi leg was stained with blood and scratch marks..._

"Spencer, talk to me, man. What's going on with you? Did you do this?" Morgan asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Derek, I know you're concerned and I know that you're worried that it'll happen again, but will you let me talk to Hotch first? Please, don't ask why; just trust me. I-I think he can help me." Reid explained. "I promise I will tell you after I talk to him."

Morgan put his hand over Reid's bloody leg, gently wiping off the blood with a towel that was left on the side of his bed. He pulled Reid closer to him again, letting him lean against him as he wiped up the blood. "I can see that Hotch can help you, and I want you to get help. I'm gonna let you figure this out with him, but I want you to tell me about anything that your guys discuss that may relate to these scratches." Morgan said in a calm voice. "Damn, you really screwed up your leg." he added under his breath.

"Yeah, I can see that." Reid sighed back. There was still a ton of blood on Reid's leg. It was worrying Morgan that Reid had scratched it so hard that it was bleeding this badly.

"Can I ask you a question? Just one?" Morgan asked, his curiosity and worries getting the best of him.

"Uh, sure, but I don't know if I'll answer." Reid replied honestly. He gasped a little right after speaking when Morgan rubbed just a bit too hard against his leg wounds.

"Has this happened before?"

"Yes, but only twice. I've talked to both Hotch and Gideon about it, and both times it was right after a traumatic event. We think that it may have something to do with that, but there are a few details that we were still sketchy about. Every time it happened, we found out a little more about it. We considered talking about it with a therapists, but the first time it happened I was just about to join the BAU, and we knew that they wouldn't hire me if I was already seeing a therapists. I promise that I will tell you about it; I don't want to hide it from you, and I don't want to make you angry. I just...I just need some time to figure out what's really happening, you know?" Reid sighed, clearly flustered.

"Spencer, you should know that out of everyone on the team I would understand wanting to know what's happening to you the most. You know I've been in a similar situation as you; just take your time." As if to emphasize that he was okay with Reid not talking to him about it immediately, he gave Reid a gentle kiss on his forehead, knowing Reid was still getting used to being so close to someone. He felt Reid get a little closer to him, something he couldn't help but smile at. Reid had always been distant when it came to contact with other people, but he had really started blossoming over the years, and he knew that their relationship would really help the kid feel comfortable with someone else. Morgan loved the feeling of having that skinny, slightly-curvy, beautiful kid in his arms, and he loved even more that Reid seemed to love it too. He could stay with him all day and wouldn't mind, but he knew Reid needed to talk to Hotch. Reluctantly, Morgan stopped caring to Reid's wounds and let him stand up. Reid threw on a shirt and put his jacket on top of it as he searched for his shoes. After a few glances around the room, he finally found them. After slipping them on, he gave Morgan a shy wave and left...

Hotch groaned as his hotel door rang. Luckily, Rossi slept right threw it and he walked to the door. When he answered it, he was shocked to see a still 'undressed' Reid waiting for him.

"He found the scratches." he said bluntly, although Hotch understood what he meant. Hotch nodded and motioned for Reid to move so he could leave his hotel room.

"Rossi's still asleep; we should talk about this in the hotel cafe; I doubt many people will be there at five in the morning." Reid nodded and let Hotch escort him downstairs.

Just as Hotch had guessed, only two other people- who were sitting together-were in the cafe. They both ordered a coffee before Hotch started talking.

"How'd he take it?" Hotch asked.

"Pretty well, considering everything." Reid sighed. "I-I told him I would tell him everything we knew about what was going on after I talked to you. He said he understood and let me leave."

"He really cares about you; I'm glad that he's been so supportive." Hotch replied with a slight smile. He squeezed Reid's hand in a supportive gesture before motioning for him to go on.

"Do you think we're right about this being caused my trauma? I mean, with me getting shot, the whole Foyet fiasco, and, well, everything else." Reid asked.

"I think it's the most likely possibility. The first time it happened was when you were in your last year of college and you sent your mother to the sanitarium. That time you started scratching your stomach. Luckily, you didn't scratch it hard enough to rip them skin like you are now. The second time was after the Tobias Hankel case, that time on your arm because of when you were using. Now, you're scratching your leg, the same one that got shot. It seems possible that this could be some bizarre case of PTSD. I mean, we all have our own ways of coping, you know." Hotch agreed.

"I wonder how long it will last this time." Reid muttered tiredly between sips of sugar-laced coffee.

"Maybe, when we get back from the case, you should see a therapists about this. I understand that you couldn't the first time because you were going to join the BAU and the second time because the BAU would make you take a few months off because of the case, but this time the BAU doesn't have a reason to look into your psych record. And even if they do, it won't matter because they wouldn't have any reason to think the BAU caused it. I don't know Reid, but I think you should give it a try." Hotch suggested.

"I was actually thinking the same thing. And now that I have Morgan, I'll have more support when I go through with it." Reid replied, nodding his head.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Now that Gideon can't help and I don't have Haley to watch Jack, it'll be nice to Morgan be able to help you." Hotch smiled. "I'm just glad that you decided to go through with it; I know you can be stubborn, and I just want to make sure someone can help you properly."

"Yeah, I know I can be stubborn," Reid smiled, "but I know I need help now. I want this to stop, even if it isn't very frequently."

"Good." Hotch smiled back."Now, we still have a few hours to sleep. I suggest we both go to bed; this is going to be a long case." Reid nodded and followed Hotch as he stood up. Together, they walked back to their floor to get a few more ours of sleep...

"...Next chap: he tells Morgan about his leg and other crap hopefully happens. Hehehe...I THOUGHT this was going to be less than 10 chaps, but now Im not so sure. Ah well. I dont think anyone will complain. Oh, and about the leg scratching: It IS a rare form of PTSD and is similar to cutting, but its done in the sleep. I love google. Hehehe...Oh, and I WAS going to update FR, but I feared for my life (as previously stated:) and decided to update that later. Sorry for the rant. R&R?"


	6. Events

Pain- Chapter 6

Events

"...Alright, so I know that I should be update my NCIS/ CM story, but I like this one more .:) Lucky you :) hehehe...R&R? Oh, and a little break from therapy for a sec. Had to focus on one more event: the closing of the case and something...else...Warning: bit more language than usual. "

When Reid came back, Morgan couldn't help but smile. He was beiggining to worry about Reid; he had been gone for a few hours, and they needed to get back to the police station in two more hours.

Hey kid, how'd it go?" Morgan asked as he patted the bed next to him.

"Tiring; I should have talked to him after the case." Reid muttered sleepily.

"Well, you still have a few hours before you have to be 'awake'. Get some sleep; we can always talk later." Morgan suggested. Reid didn't even pretend to argue this time; he was too tired. Reid pulled himself into his hotel bed and closed his eyes. Part of Reid wanted Morgan to hop in bed next to him and play with his hair again, but the other half of him wanted to be alone for a few hours. Deciding he was too tired to worry or care, he pulled up the covers and feel to sleep...

When Morgan shook Reid awake one and a half hours later, they were both relieved to find there weren't any scratches. Neither of them thought there would be, though, because of how short of a time he had been sleeping for. "Come on Spencer, it's time to go." Reid nodded at Morgan and tiredly got up...

The BAU finally got that big break in their latest case that they were waiting so long to get. To celebrate, the BAU team was hooking up with the local law enforcement to go clubbing (as much clubbing as the younger members could, that is, with Rossi and Hotch).

Reid felt a bit nervous and uncomfortable at the nightclub; Morgan had taken off to dance with Garcia and his team was scattered around randomly in the club. He was sitting next to a police officer his team had worked with. He was a medium-sized built with short black hair and bright yellow-brown eyes. The officer seemed to be scooting closer to him with each sip of his drink, and it was started to make Reid anxious. After a few more sips, he was practically on top of Reid. Finally having enough, Reid decided to relocate.

"Whoa, whoa,whoa!" the drunk agent slurred. "Where's a sexy thing like you going alone this late at night?"

"Home." Reid muttered, referring to Derek and his own hotel room. When he went to walk away, the officer grabbed Reid's wrists and pinned his upper body against the table, intertwining their legs.

"No you're not. I'm not letting someone as pretty as you just walk out of my life without a little action." he nearly purred. "And besides, who am I to let that little ass of yours go to waste?"

Suddenly his mouth was kissing Reid's messily, grabbing said 'little ass' a little too hard. Reid tried to scream, butt he man's lips on his own muffled it so no one could hear. Before Reid knew what was happening, he was pushed completely onto the table being pinned down by rough hands on his slightly-curved hips...

Morgan laughed as Garcia danced, half-drunk, with him. He glanced over at Reid every once in a while to make sure the kid was okay; he didn't like leaving Reid all alone when they went to clubs. When he peeked over, he frowned, anger filling up his expression.

"Derek? What is it?" Garcia asked, confused. Morgan didn't answer, though. He just kept on steaming off toward Reid and the other man who he recognized as a police officer.

When he finally got to the table, he shoved the other man off Reid harshly and slammed his fist into his cheek. He could hear Reid gasp for air as he struggled to sit upright. For the moment, he ignored his soon-to-be boyfriend and settled for pummeling the guy who had hurt him.

"You lay another fucking hand on him and I will break you in two." Morgan snarled.

"I think I'll take my chances; there's no way in hell I'm leaving this damned bar until I get that nice piece of meat there in my pants." the drunk smirked. When he reached over to Reid, Morgan punched his nose, sending him to the floor. Morgan continuously punched him until his face was bloody and bruised. He tried to fight Morgan back, but he wasn't successful; Morgan would just punch even harder. A few minutes later, everyone in the bar was watching and the BAU team interfered. Hotch pulled Morgan off the drunk officer while Rossi worked on the staggering drunk. The women had flocked to Reid, who was crying into Garcia's shoulder. The officer was immediately cuffed and Morgan was freed, everyone knowing he was stopping Reid from being raped; no one was willing to punish Morgan for that.

"Go to Reid; he needs you." Hotch mumbled. Morgan nodded, leaving without hesitation.

Garcia pulled Reid off her when she saw Morgan coming; she knew he would want to comfort him.

"Come here Pretty Boy." Morgan said softly, letting Reid cling to his chest for a moment. "Let's go home now, okay?" Reid nodded. With that, the BAU left...

On the plane ride home, Hotch let Morgan hold Reid. The act had officially 'outed' them to the rest of the team, but no one seemed to mind. Everyone glanced at the pair every once and a while, hoping that they would both be okay...

"...Bit of a filler. I know. It's necessary though! Oh, and updates for my other stories will be WAAAY more scarce than this one. R&R?"


	7. Therapy

Pain-Chapter 7

Therapy

"...First therapy session to follow! Creative title, right? :) Thnx for reading everyone!"

Derek Morgan never went home the first night they came back from their case. He called a neighbor who was more than willing to take care of his dog before escorting Reid home. Reid was quiet the entire car ride, making him a little nervous. He hadn't said a word since the incident in the bar. He just wished that Reid would talk to him.

When Reid and Morgan reached Reid's apartment, Reid opened his door slowly. He was suddenly feeling dizzy, and he couldn't distinguish where the ground started or ended. Morgan slammed his door as he rushed over to Reid's side, seeing his unfocused gaze. "Hey Spencer, you still with me?" Reid nodded in response. "You okay?" A reluctant nod. As Reid tried to find the ground, he slipped and nearly fell hard on his injured knee. Luckily, Morgan caught the upper part of his body before it hit the ground. "Man, you're over-exhausted. You need to get some sleep." Reid just nodded, which made him feel more dizzy, before letting Morgan guide him back to his room.

After Morgan opened the door using the spare key Reid had given him, Reid immediately crashed on the couch.

"Well, at least get comfortable. Go to your room and change. Then you'll already be in your room, so you can sleep on an actual bed tonight. Reid groaned before throwing himself back on his feet. He walked in a daze back to his room and quickly changed. Just as he was pulling his shirt on, he heard a knock on his door. "Come in." he shouted.

When Morgan entered Reid's bedroom, he was in the middle of pulling on his night shirt. He gave Reid a small smile as he plopped down on his bed. "You're staying here, right?" Reid asked hopefully.

"Only if you want me to."

"Good, because I want you to." Reid smiled as he patted his bed, beckoning Morgan to join him. As soon as Morgan laid down, Reid curled up into him as tight as he could. Morgan laid a gentle hand on Reid's side and wrapped the other hand around his chest. Reid's breathing finally relaxed for the first time since the accident, something that made Morgan both happy and sad. He sighed, knowing that he could only hope that Reid was okay...

The next morning, Reid woke up to Morgan petting his hair. He shifted closer to Morgan, signaling that he was awake. "I start therapy today." he said.

"Really? You already made an appointment?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, I figured I should start as soon as possible, you know? That way I don't discourage myself into not taking it." Reid explained.

"Oh, that's good. Do you want me to come?"

"I talked to the therapist for a few minutes after the case; he said that he'd like me to bring someone for support for the sessions. Normally, he wouldn't encourage it, but he said that in my case it'd be best. Since my problems have to do with my job and feelings that the job caused me to have. He said it would be nice to have someone there who was there when the events happened."

"That's sounds like a good plan. I'd be more than happy to come to support you." Morgan mumbled into Reid's hair, laying a gentle kiss on his head. "What time is it?"

"Uh, five in the afternoon." Reid answered, still sounding tired.

"I guess we should get up." Morgan sighed, not wanting to make Reid move.

"Yeah." he mumbled back. Morgan shifted his weight so Reid could get up before following suit. They both took a minute to mentally prepare themselves. It was going to be a long day...

"So Spencer, how long have you and Derek been together?" Dr. Issac asked.

"Less than a week." Reid admitted, getting an approving look from Morgan.

"Really? I would've guessed longer. You two look fairly comfortable with sharing with each other and

seem pretty intimate."

"Well, we both work at the FBI, and I'm pretty sure we've both liked each other for a while." Morgan said.

"But we're just now being an official couple." Reid added.

"Oh, alright." Dr. Issac said, scratching down a note. "I understand there was a bit of an incident on your last case. Tell me about it."

"When we finished our case, our team went to a club with the officers who were working the case with us. While we were there, one of the officers came on to me. He-he was drunk and was clearly looking for sex. He started inching closer to me, so I got up to leave. But then, he grabbed my wrist and said that he wasn't going to let a sexy thing like me leave without getting something. I tried to feign him off, but he pushed me down on the counter and pinned me down by my hips. He started kissing me, but I tried to stop him. The more I fought the harder he pressed me down. He actually left thumb marks on my hips because of how hard he was pressing. At some point, he decided kissing wasn't enough and he grabbed me. After that, he pulled me onto the table and got on top of me. He was about to...about to start taking my clothes off when Morgan came over. He had my zipper down and was trying to pull my pants down when Morgan pulled him off me and started punching him. He was arrested for assault, and then my team left for the jets." Reid was pressing back tears now, feeling almost as violated as he did the first time the attack happened.

Morgan frowned as he looked at Reid's eyes, seeing the unshed tears he was suppressing. He looked at Dr. Issac, as if asking if it were okay if he held Reid. The doctor caught on and nodded, again writing something down as Morgan drew Reid closer to him.

"Before we discuss you scratching problem, I'd like you to tell me what traumatic events you were going through before you started scratching.

Reid let out a shaky breath as he reached for Morgan's hand, glad he had the man there to support him. He explained about the first time it happened; he had been in his final year of college and he had to lock his mother away. He told Dr. Issac how guilty he felt about his decision and his lack of sleep afterward. Then, he described the second event-Tobias Hankel. He told him what Tobias had done to him, and he admitted to taking the drugs recreationally for a few months but had winged himself off them fairly quickly. He said that ,shortly after the incident, his mentor had left him, which made his scratching last longer than before. He told him about the newest incident- which had been triggered by getting anthrax, Foyet ripping apart the BAU, him being shot, and a series of very rough cases.

"The last time it happened is interesting to me, because it wasn't caused by just one event." Dr. Issac started. "In the past, it was caused by a very traumatic event, but not this time, and I think I know why."

"Really? What is it?" Reid asked, hoping to finally get some answers.

"I think it's clear to everyone here that the BAU is a pretty demanding and high-stress job. I think that after year of traumatic experiences accompanied by a bad childhood full of unpleasant memories- like having your father leave and you making the decision to put her in Bennington- has caused you to develop depression. I know it seems too simple to be the answer, but scratching IS a form of PTSD, and depression is commonly followed by the disease. Now, I'm pretty sure that this is the source of your past scratches and your present one, but I'd like to talk about your other experiences- like what happened at the bar most recently- more next week. This week, I was hoping to develop some trust between us, and I think that if Derek comes from now on we'll be okay there. I also wanted to diagnose you fairly quickly to see over the next few session any changes that I note in your behavior. Being behavior analysts, I am sure you both understand that." Dr. Issac concluded.

"If I do have depression, will I be able to work at the FBI still?" Reid asked.

"Yes, but I do suggest you stay off the field for the first three weeks you take your new medication in case of a reaction or other such issues." the doctor answered. Reid nodded in understandment, signing to himself. "Well, that's it for this week. Are there any questions?" Both Reid and Morgan shook their heads no. "Alright then, I'll see you next week."

With that, Reid and Morgan stood up- ready to go home and digest the news...

"...Abrupt ending, I know. Hope your guys are okay with the lack of action in this one- I just wanted you guys to be introduced to the therapist and know whats wrong with him. R&R?"


	8. Addiction

Pain- Chapter 8

Addiction

"...YAY! I finished FR, so I will be starting a new slash story called, "Addicted Innocence." Hopefully, I will come up with a better title, but ah well. R&R? Oh, and keep in mind that this story is already two chaps over what I first expected, so I'm not sure how many more will be left. Once I organize the details a little better, I'll let you guys have a rough estimate...One more thing: thank google one more time for the infor about the pills; I kept the name out though because I was afraid that I'd type it in wrong or I got some inaccurate guidance."

Spencer Reid stared out of the window of his apartment as his partner slept on the bed they had been sharing for a few weeks now. He sighed as his eyes droop closed, but sleep never came to him. Ever since he had been taking his new pills, he had had trouble sleeping- even when the packet said 'may cause drowsiness'.

Derek Morgan woke up and quickly realized that Reid was staring out of the window again. He wished that Reid would adjust to the pills more easily than he was, but he understood how hard it was- both mentally and physically- for him to be so dependent on a pill that could change his whole mood. Ever since the Tobias Hankel case, Reid had been terrified to become dependent on a single pill, and he knew this pill was no different.

"Still can't sleep?" Morgan asked lazily, still half asleep.

"No." Reid mumbled, sounding extremely exhausted as well.

"Maybe we should talk to Dr. Issac about it; this could be a sign that something's wrong, and maybe he'll want to try a different pill." Morgan suggested as he finally got off their bed.

"Yeah; we have an appointment- er a follow-up, really-about how the pill is working. I think it's next Tuesday."

"Oh, that's good. In the meantime, though, we have to get to work." Morgan reminded.

"I know." Reid responded with a grim face. He didn't know how he would manage to get through the day as tired as he was. "Do you want to use the bathroom first?"

"No, that's okay. It is your house, so you go first. Besides, I wanted to call my neighbor to see how Clooney's doing."

"Oh, sorry about that."

"Don't be, Pretty Boy. Clooney's never had competition before, so this is a good thing for everyone." he smirked.

"I better be winning; I'm not going to let a dog beat me!"

"Trust me; I may like Clooney, but you're prettier." he called out as Reid entered the bathroom. Morgan snickered as he dialed his neighbor's number, satisfied that he had annoyed Reid before 7 am- a new personal record...

Luckily, the team didn't have a new case that day., which made it the perfect time to tell Hotch about what the therapist had told Morgan and Reid. After dodging fellow team mates, the couple made their way to Hotch's office, gently tapping on the door when they reached it.

"Come in." Hotch called out.

Reid offered Hotch a nervous smile and Morgan kept a serious face as they walked inside the office.

"What is this about?" Hotch asked. "The therapist?" Reid and Morgan nodded, getting an approving nod from Hotch. "What did he say?"

"He said that I had a mild case of depression and prescribed a new pill to me. He said that he still wanted to see me once in a while to check and make sure I'm making some progress, and he also suggested that I bring Morgan with me for emotional support." Reid said quickly, not liking that he had to share such intimate details about his psych to his boss, fearing that he could lose his job.

"Is the pill helping?" Hotch asked, earning a sigh from Morgan and a worried glance from Reid.

"I-I don't know yet. Dr. Issac said it would take some time to work, but all it is doing right now is keeping me from sleeping." Reid admitted.

"Really? I always thought they made you more tired..." Hotch mused.

"Well, I am more drowsy, but I just can't sleep well."

Sensing that Reid was nervous and afraid, Morgan glanced at Hotch, as if asking him if he could touch Reid. Recognizing the look from when they were on the jet the night Reid was almost raped, Hotch nodded. Morgan pulled Reid closer to his body and wrapped his arms around him. Reid nuzzled closer to his chest, trying his best not to collapse right there from exhaustion.

Hotch examined the newly-found couple for a second, taking in how comfortable Reid looked for once with someone touching him. Morgan, so far, had proved to be one of the best things to happen to Reid he had really helped the younger man come out of his shell.

"Well, I hope you are able to sort things out with him, but in the meantime, keep in mind that Strauss doesn't know about any of this." he warned. "None of us are willing to tell her, knowing that she'll separate the team. We all work so well together, and I don't think any of us are willing to change that."

"We know, Hotch." Morgan started, pausing before continuing. "And we don't want the team to break up either."

"Alright; good." With that, Hotch nodded dismissively. Morgan let go of Reid and started toward the door, but Reid hesitated for a moment. "What is it?" Hotch asked.

"Uh...Nothing. J-Just, thank you." Reid stammered. He wanted to tell Hotch so much more than just thank you, but he couldn't find the words or the breath to tell him. Sensing Reid's inner-conflict, Hotch smiled.

"You have nothing to thank me for." Hotch said. "You two are good for each other, and I won't let Strauss break that up."

"That's not what I met." Reid said, but knowing deep down that Hotch knew that,too.

"I know." he reassured. Reid smiled before letting Morgan guide him out of the office, ready to start his paperwork for the day...

Tuesday came sooner than Reid and Morgan realized, and they almost missed their appointment. Luckily, their case was local, so they didn't have to fly out of the state, and they easily rescheduled it for 8 pm, when the team had some down-time before starting the next day bright and early.

Reid explained to Dr. Issac about his body's reaction to the pills. The doctor scribbled down notes as he listened intently to what Reid was describing. When they were both finished, Dr. Issac looked up to Reid and Morgan and started explaining what he thought was happening.

"Spencer, I understand that you were once addicted to drugs due to a case you had awhile back, correct?" Both Morgan and Reid nodded. "I believe your mind is sending warning signals to your body that the drug may be dangerous and addicted, and considering that you have refused to take any narcotics ever since the accident, I think this is highly likely to be the case here. Also, the anxiety caused from the worrying may have a part in this. I remember you mentioning last week that you were afraid of becoming too dependent on any type of medication, saying 'once an addict, always an addict'. Am I correct?" Reid nodded. " I think that once you realize that these pills aren't dangerous when taken regularly by the recommended doses, you'll be able to sleep better. In the meantime, I am concerned that the pills aren't yet helping you. Usually, these depression pills start kicking in at their full strength in two weeks, and it doesn't seem like they are. I have also heard of rare cases where depression pills actually reverse their effects, simply meaning that instead of helping with depression, sleep, and other such side effects, they aggravate them. Now, I don't know if this is the case, but I don't think it would hurt to try something else for a while. Would that be alright with you?"

"Of course; I don't feel any less, uh, high strung or unrelaxed than I did without the pills, and I agree with you." Reid said nervously. He was afraid that this would happen after reading a few online articles about depression pills. And, knowing his luck, he had already guessed a few days ago that they weren't helping at all.

"Great; I'm writing you a prescription for a newer pill that I have heard great things about. These have reported to take more time to kick in and have more side effects that will eventually go away. Now, I don't know how extreme this side effects may be, but I figure that every pill has a few side effects, and almost every report I've read about this pill has a high success rate, so why not give it a shot?"

"I understand." Reid nodded. The doctor smiled, glad that his newest patient was one of his more understanding ones; he figured this was because he was much smarter and better educated than the others. Dropping his thoughts about Spencer, he handed over the prescription with a smile.

"I hope this helps. Until next week, Spencer and Derek." he dismissed with a reassuring nod.

"Thank you." they replied. With that, they left for the car...

"I should have realized the signs sooner. My body was telling me that I was afraid of becoming addicted, but I chose to ignore it." Reid sighed from the passenger seat.

"Hey now, don't do that to yourself. You know just as much as I do that the human subconsciousness is all about mixed-signals and that you were probably receiving more than one of them. Cut yourself some slack Spencer; it's the least you deserve." Morgan said as he stopped for the red light. He reached over to his new boyfriend and gave him a gentle kiss. "We'll figure this out-together- and that's a promise."

"I know." Reid responded."It's just, I hate not being in control of my own thoughts, you know? I keep thinking of all these different things at the same time, and I just want to stop thinking for a few minutes and sleep without a dream- or nightmare, I should say- for once. It's just..." Reid pause, trying to think of the right word to use, "frustrating." he finally said.

"Yeah kid, I know how hard this must be for you, and I just hate seeing you this way. Hopefully, this new pill will help. But for now, I think we should get you home and try to sleep." Morgan said as the light turned green.

"Thanks, for everything."

"Don't thank me Spencer; you know everyone cares about you and only wants to help you get through this." Morgan said, 'everyone' referring to Reid's therapist- who had proven to be more than helpful- himself, Hotch, and the rest of the team.

The rest of the car ride was silent as Reid stared out the window, praying that everything would work out in the end...

"...So for a few chaps- if not all the remaining ones- are going to be about Reid finding something that works and recovering from everything. And I apologize for the paragraph-long authors notes, I just wanted you guys to know what I know so far, and so far, this is all I know. Hehehe...R&R?"


	9. Trouble

"**Alright, so I'm moving my AN's to up here in bold :) I hope this is easier to read! Oh, and I hope you guys check out my profile pg! Got some cool stuff up...Oh, and I said to someone I'm gonna throw you guys under the bus, but in a good way. Expect that during the last chap (not epilogue!) of the story. R&R?" **

Pain- Chapter 9

Trouble

Not even a week after Reid started his new medication Morgan started to notice new side-effects, almost the exact opposite of the other pills. He was always tired; he even fell asleep while driving once. Of course, Morgan was more than a little concerned about the new symptoms, and he knew that they still hadn't found the right pill for him. In both cases so far, the pills' side-effects outweighed their usefulness.

When they went to their weekly appointment, Reid was sleeping. Morgan tried to wake him up, but he would fall to sleep minutes later. So Morgan let Reid sleep in the waiting room, hoping that they would find something else. He played with his lover's hair as he slept peacefully, taking in the blissful and young look on his face. Before he could stop himself, he placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, causing Reid to unconsciously snuggle closer to him.

Dr. Isaac smiled at the two couple's interaction. He loved seeing how much the larger man cared for his younger, softer partner. Finally getting Morgan's attention he gave him a quick smile before heading over toward them.

"I take it his body hasn't been responding to the new medication well?" he guessed, seeing as the younger man was still sleeping, despite all the chaos and hectic noises in the hospital.

"No, he's been sleeping almost non-stop. He fell to sleep while driving to work, fell to sleep when we were being briefed on a case, slept through an interview with a key witness- he just can't concentrate on anything. It got so bad that he was called of the case and sent back to the hotel for the remainder of the trip. I think that we still haven't found he 'perfect pill' yet." Morgan expressed.

Dr. Isaac sighed as he looked down at his younger patient- if not his youngest patient, that is. He dropped t his knees to examine Reid's vital signs, quickly checking for normal breathing and heart patterns as he slept. "Well, the good news is that the pills haven't affected his bodily functions yet, so it's still safe to wing him off them now. I'm going to prescribe pill number 3, which has more mild affects and less chances of making him tired or unable to sleep."

Morgan shook his head, finding it amazing that Reid was sleeping through all the sounds the hospital was creating. "Well, I think it's safe to say that he's not going to be up to talking today." Dr. Issac smirked at that.

"I guess I will see both of you next week, alright?" Morgan nodded before standing up. "Oh, do you want so help getting him home?"

"Nah, he's not that heavy." Morgan smiled. The doctor mimicked his smile and handed him Reid's new pills.

"Call me if Dr. Reid experiences any symptoms like he has in the past." he instructed. Morgan nodded and picked Reid up bridal-style, ready to carry him out to the car. As he walked out of the building, he received a few strange looks, but he just laughed them off. The image of a big black guy carrying a very thin and sleeping white 'n nerdy boy must have looked ridiculously funny. As he slid Reid into his passenger seat, he smiled, happy to be taking his still sleeping boyfriend home.

But this time, he was taking him to his house...

When Morgan opened his house door, Clooney rushed up to him-licking him wherever skin was available. He pet Clooney's head, smiling as he saw his dog for the first time in weeks. Morgan carefully sat Reid down on his bed, knowing that he was going to be tired for a while. Clooney noticed the new person at once and came on the bed to investigate. He licked Reid's hand, trying to get him to pet him. When he realized that Reid wasn't moving, he whined. He nudged at Reid, but still nothing happened. He barked this time; still nothing. Finally, Clooney rushed back to Morgan and lead him in the back room.

"Oh Clooney, he's alright. Spencer's just sleeping." Morgan smiled, seeing that his do was just as protective of Spencer as he was. Clooney still looked a bit worried and ended up curling on the bed next to Reid's side. He placed his head on his paws, his eyes never leaving Reid.

Morgan smiled at the scene, thinking that Garcia would kill to see a picture of them. He debated about actually taking the picture, but he decided to make a quick phone call instead...

About 15 minutes later, Garcia was knocking softly on Morgan's door, not wanting to wake up Reid. Morgan opened the door and Garcia came squealing in. "Oh, did I miss it?"

"No, they haven't moved." he reassured. Garcia gave a quiet 'yay' sound and rushed into Morgan's bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and started petting both Clooney and Reid.

"Morgan, take a picture of us! I'm thinking Christmas card..." Morgan chucked before reaching for his camera, knowing all too well that she wasn't kidding. He quickly snapped the picture before joining Garcia and Reid on his bed. Clooney moved toward his master but still kept his eyes on Reid. Garcia noticed the dog's protectiveness and smiled, glad that Morgan wasn't the only one who liked Reid.

"How long has he been sleeping?" Garcia asked.

"Well, he woke up at about 9, got dressed and took a quick shower, and then he fell back to sleep. He's been sleeping ever since then, so for about eight hours, although he does wake up for about five minutes every so often." Morgan answered.

"Come on Spencer, it's time to wake up." Garcia nudged, gently tapping at Reid's shoulders. Finally, Reid started to stir in his sleep. He moaned as he rolled over into Morgan's arms, unconsciously nuzzling into his chest. Both Garcia and Morgan smiled at Reid's adorable actions.

"Spencer, you've been sleeping long enough; it's time to wake up." Morgan said, gently pulling his lover up. Now, Morgan leaned against his headboard, and Reid was leaning against him.

"Garcia?" Reid asked, sensing that someone else was in the room with them.

"Yeah, it's mean honey."

"Did you..." Reid started, but he was halted by his own yawning. "Did you go to the doctor's?"

"Yeah, he gave us some new pills to try. He said that they wouldn't make you so tired." Morgan reassured.

"Good." Reid mumbled, once again snuggling close to Morgan. Within seconds, he was asleep again.

"Aw, you two are just so adorable!" Garcia cooed, resisting the urge to jump up and grab her camera.

"Yeah, he is pretty, well, pretty."

"You really like him, don't you?" Garcia asked in a serious tone.

"I do."

"I mean, like, as in _love_ him." Garcia clarified.

"I knew what you meant, Garcia."

"Does he know how you feel?" Garcia asked.

"I suppose he figures as much. I haven't officially told him yet, but he will soon enough." Morgan couldn't help but feel relieved to have his Spencer in his own arms. He didn't know what he would ever do if something happened to him, and he prayed that he would never have to find out.

"Have you told your mom yet?" Garcia asked suddenly, glancing over at Morgan's door frame.

"No, I figured that was something we should do together."

"Well, I think you just got your chance to." a new voice said from behind them.

Morgan looked up sharply, recognizing the voice immediately.

"Hi, mom..."

"**...Ooh, someone's in trouble now! Hehehe...Surprisingly, this wasn't planned, and this still isn't me throwing you under a bus yet. :) Be prepared! R&R?" **


	10. Interview

"**...Now, Morgan gets in some trouble! Hehehe...Thnx for reading everyone! Oh, and for those of you who haven't heard by now, CMali has done a few 'interrogations' about some CM writers. Yours truly made the cut :) hehehe...R&R? One more thing: Googled Morgans mom name and got Fran, is that right?..."**

Pain-Chapter 10

Interviews

_"Well, I think you just got your chance to." a new voice said from behind them._

_Morgan looked up sharply, recognizing the voice immediately._

_"Hi, mom..."_

"So, what is this?" Morgan's mom asked with a small smile.

"Uh, nice of you to stop by. Did my sisters come with you?" Morgan asked, ignoring the question for now.

"Just Desiree this time around. You're just glad she decided to leave a little later so finish up a few things at her job!" she accused.

"Hello, Mrs. Morgan." Garcia greeted, feeling a little left out. Fran Morgan smiled at Garcia as if just now noticing her.

"Nice to see you again, Penelope. Now, do you have any idea what's going on here?" she asked.

"Yes, your son his holding our dear little Spencer Reid as he sleeps peacefully." Garcia said with her lovely little smile.

"That's Spencer Reid? You know, the same little white boy who was in my house just a few years ago? Wow, he's grown up, hasn't he?" Fran exclaimed, shaking her head with disbelief.

"Grew up handsomely, if I may say so." Garcia said playfully, earning a laugh from Morgan's mom.

"And I think my son's figured that much out." she whispered, although she had intended for her son to hear. The two women shared a laugh as Morgan blushed. "Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?"

"I was going to, I swear! We just started seeing each other a few weeks ago, Ma, and Spencer's been through a lot lately." Morgan defended.

"Don't raise your voice; your going to wake that precious little angel up!" she hissed back.

Garcia stayed silent, enjoying the little spout too much to interrupt.

Just then, as if on cue, Reid pushed himself closer to Morgan's chest. Morgan protectively wrapped an arm around him, earning a more content-looking Reid and an 'awe' from the ladies in the room.

"My, if that isn't love I don't know what is." Fran sighed. "Have you jumped him yet? I swear Derek Morgan, if you did I will rip your head off! You don't just jump into a physical relationship with something as fragile as that little porcelain doll." she added, her mood changing once again. 'Mood swings', Morgan thought, 'that's my mom alright.'

Garcia couldn't help but snicker at that. In fact, she had been curious about that, but she was sure that if they had she would've heard about it by now.

"No mom; I haven't 'jumped' Spencer. I-I don't think either of us are ready for that yet." Morgan sighed. Suddenly, he noticed that he had absent-mindedly playing with Spencer's hair again. Embarrassed that his mother had seen how he acted with Reid so intimately, he stopped and gently moved Reid off him. Once Reid was on the bed, he curled close to a pillow, not once stirring from his sleep.

"Good god Derek, did you drug the poor boy?" Fran asked, dumb-founded by how much Reid had slept through.

"No,it kinda has to do with why he's been having a hard time. I don't think I should tell you yet without asking him if it's okay first, though."

Fran frowned, wondering what was going on in her son's new lover's life that was making him so tired. She sighed it off though, knowing that she had intruded enough for the moment there would be time for 'interviewing' later.

"Well, I guess I should give you and Spencer some time to get a few things straight." Then, she turned her attention to the young blond watching the cute little angel curled up on the bed. "Garcia, I have been to this city more than a dozen times and I have yet to take a proper tour of it. Would you care to my tour guide this evening?"

"Ma'am, it would be my honor." Garcia beamed. Fran shared an exceedingly bright smile with Garcia before taking her arm underneath her own.

"When I get back Derek, I expect some answers." she warned. Morgan nodded, expecting nothing less. With a satisfied nod, Fran let herself be guided out of the room.

'Damn it,' Morgan thought to himself, 'I am so screwed!'

As Morgan got his thoughts straight in his head, he dropped to the bed again. He pulled Reid back to his chest, finding that he felt better with the young man so close to him. A sigh escaped Reid's lips as he felt that he was being moved again, but he soon lost track of his thoughts. Feeling safe with Morgan, he fell back to sleep for what felt like the hundredth time in one day alone...

A few hours later, Reid was finally conscious enough to sit up straight. As Morgan plopped a cup of coffee in front of Reid's face, Morgan pulled Reid closer to him again. 'Damn, why do I feel the need to cradle him so much today?' he thought, but it was pushed away when he felt the action being embraced.

"Did you hear Garcia and my mom when you were on my bed?" Morgan finally asked. Suddenly, Reid popped up, more than a little alarmed.

"WHAT? Your mom saw me on your bed? Oh gosh, she must think I'm a slut who's just trying to get into your pants and that I can't control myself and that I'm a horrible boyfriend for her perfect son and that-" Reid started rambling, unable to control the sudden panic racing through his mind. He knew that it was irrational to feel that way, knowing that they were just cuddling, but he just couldn't help but feel that way. He assumed that it was his mind switching over the way it thought. He knew that mood swings were a common side effect of depression pills, and he had a feeling he was just now experiencing his first real symptom. He was relieved to feel it, though, because he knew that it meant that the new pill was actually working. But he couldn't feel happy right now; he needed to get things straight with Morgan and his mom.

"Pretty Boy, calm down! My mom doesn't think you're a slut. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she loves you. She called you an angel, perfect, beautiful..." Morgan started, but Reid stopped him.

"I know Derek, it's just that this mood swings are a symptom of some of the most successful depression pills, and although I'm glad that they seem to be working, I'm just unhappy that your mother's first impression of us was me snuggling close to you as I slept like Sleeping Beauty." It was clear that Reid was flustered, and he couldn't help but think of how cute a flustered Reid could be.

"Spencer, just relax." Morgan pushed Reid back down, earning an aggravated moan from Reid.

"So your mother doesn't hate me?"

"No, my mother loves you." Morgan said with a kiss.

"Are you positive?"

"Spencer, almost _everyone _love you!" Morgan said, letting out a small laugh. "Damn, for a genius, you sure can be dumb sometimes!" Reid pouted at that, making Morgan smile at how adorable Reid looked.

Just as Reid started to get comfortable laying down with Morgan (he was still extremely tired, but he could at least stay awake five minutes without falling to sleep now), they heard the door open. Morgan fought Reid as he tried to get up and pushed him back down, wanting so badly to hold him.

"Well hello Spencer."" Fran said with a smile. She dropped her shopping bags on the floor and went to join them on the couch. "So, I hear you're dating my son; is he treating you well?"

"Yeah, Derek's treating me better than I probably deserve." Reid admitted.

"Come on kid, stop selling yourself short. You deserve so much more than I have to offer."

"Aw, isn't that sweet?" Fran cooed.

"Hey, where's Garcia?" Morgan asked, suddenly realizing she wasn't with his mom anymore.

"Oh, she had to go back to her apartment. Her boyfriend forgot his key." Fran explained. Then, turning her attention to Derek, she continued talking. "Get out."

"Excuse me?" Derek asked, incredulously.

"Get out." Fran repeated in a 'no duh' tone.

"This is my house! And why do you want me to leave, anyway?"

"I'd like to talk to your new boyfriend in private. Now, go out and get something for us to eat. I'm in the mood for some Chinese." Morgan just sighed in annoyance and got up to leave. Reid sent Morgan a panicked glance; he didn't want to be alone with his mom yet. Morgan shook shook his head and left.

Once Fran was sure that Morgan was out of hearing range, she turned her attention to a half-sleeping Reid. "How many sexual partners have you had?"

"None." Reid answered honestly.

"Seriously, I know it may seem odd, but I would like to know-" Reid cut her off with a shake of the head.

"None; I've never had sex before."

"Really? My son is dating a virgin_?" _Reid nodded, suddenly very alert and very afraid. "Oh, come here boy! As far as I'm concerned, you're already part of the family." Reid smiled as Fran grabbed him in a death hug. After a few awkward minutes, she finally let go.

"I-is there anything else you want to know?" Reid asked, blushing.

"Well, there was, but I don't think they much matter anymore." Fran admitted.

"Okay, then ask me anything else." Reid suggested. He was desperately trying to stay awake, and Fran asking him numerous questions seemed to be helping. As if suddenly realizing Reid's reasonings, she nodded her head and continued talking.

"How long have you been in love with Derek?"

"A while, actually. I don't exactly know for how long, but I know it's been for a while."

"That's good." she smiled. "How long have you known you're gay?"

"When I first met Derek." Reid replied. "I hadn't really thought much about my sexuality until I saw him in the BAU. I was always attracted to him, and in time I realized that he really cared about me, too."

"He talks about you a lot, you know. He's always talking about all the trouble you get into and how he wishes that you were more careful. That was really my first clue that he liked you, really."

"He's never been subtle, has he?" Reid joked. Fran laughed at that, nodding her head all the while.

"It's nice to see him in love, though. He's never really liked someone like he does you. I could tell just by listening on the phone how protective he is of you and how much he really cares for you. It's nice, you know, to see two people love each other so much."

"He's always been protective of me. I have to admit that it's nice, though. I've never had someone who's so willing to take care of me and help me when I need it. And I hope he knows that he can come to me for help, too. He's so dependent and feels like he has to take care of everyone else before himself. I just hope I can make him trust me, too."

"I think his lack of trust in people is one of his worst qualities." Fran agreed. "I'm pretty sure he'll grow to trust you, though. You two care so much for each other; he loves you so much."

Just then, the door opened.

"Took you long enough." Fran scolded. "What, they don't have Chinese restaurants in the cities here?"

"Well gee, your welcome, Ma." Morgan said, rolling his eyes.

"Get you but over here, and bring the food! You do a horrible job of feeding your boyfriend."

"Hey, I can feed myself." Reid muttered.

"And you do a damn fine job of it." Fran mocked back. Reid just smiled, glad that Fran seemed to have taken a liking to him.

As they ate, Reid decided that right now was as good as a time as any to admit that he had depression to Fran. He leaned closer to Morgan and whispered something in his ear. Morgan nodded and took Reid's hand, ready to support his boyfriend as he told his mother the truth.

"What is this all about?" Fran asked.

"Ma, we have something to tell you..."

Morgan and Reid took turns sharing bits and pieces of the story, varying from the scratching to the reasons why they thought it was caused. Reid told her that he had agreed to see a therapist and described how supportive Derek was throughout the whole experience. Then he told her about the pills and their symptoms. When they finally finished the story, Fran was shaking her head.

"Poor boy, already gone through so much and not even 30 yet." Fran whispered. Then, she turned to her son. "You ever hurt him and I will track you down and skin you like a deer. Got that clear?"

"Yes ma'am." Morgan smiled, not even blinking when he felt Reid lay down on him. He knew that he was Reid's favorite pillow, and he also knew how tired Reid was right now.

"Well, I guess I will meet up with you guys some time tomorrow. Desiree and I will meet you at the restaurant across the street, and don't forget to bring your boyfriend." referring to the once again sleeping Reid.

'Of course mom." Morgan whispered, not wanting to wake Reid up, even if Reid was in a very deep sleep.

"I'd say sweet dreams, but I think you've already got that covered." Fran smiled. She leaned over to Reid and Morgan and gave them both a kiss on the forehead. "See you tomorrow!" she called as she left the house.

When Fran left, Morgan didn't even bother moving. He simply grabbed a blanket and threw it over Reid and himself. He slouched down and let Reid snuggle closer to him again. Within minutes, Morgan was asleep with a smile on his face...

"**...I hope you've OD-ed on fluff, because there's going to be a LOT of angst in the next chap! To say the least, you're not going to like me much after you read it :) R&R?..." **


	11. Fight

"**...hehehe...This chap is very mean, if you ask me. Rated M. I revised this chap after I wrote it because it got kinda outta hand from me-meaning way too violent. Hope you like it!..."**

Pain-Chapter 11

Fight

Both Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan woke up before 3 am the next morning. As Morgan stared at his ceiling, he kept wishing that Reid hadn't had gone home. He missed him already. He sighed, tossing and turning as Clooney laid out across his feet. Morgan managed to smile at that, but he still didn't feel any less lonely...

Reid hadn't wanted to go home, but he knew he had to. Not only did he need to change his clothes and take a shower in his own tub-which he had missed dearly-but he needed some time to think about things for himself.

There was a certain thing on Reid's mind that had his emotions spewing confusingly everywhere. He kept thinking about it and how much he knew Morgan loved it, but he had never done it himself.

_"Anything else you wanna clear the air about?" Morgan asked. Reid thought for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, what is it?"_

_"Mor-Derek," Reid corrected himself, "I'm-I'm a virgin."_

_"Really?" Morgan asked, raising a curious look at Reid, who nodded in conformation. "My boyfriend's a virgin." Morgan said out loud with a smile. "Well, that's something special, isn't it?" Morgan asked rhetorically as he kissed Reid's forehead._

Reid sighed, not sure if it was time to move that far in their relationship. Either way, he was both excited and terrified at the thought of being in bed with Morgan and doing a bit more than cuddling. He felt safe and secure where they were now, but he knew that they were going to have to move on, sooner or later.

Suddenly, Reid's phone went off, causing him to jump in surprise. He quickly scrambled to find his phone before answering it. "Hello?"

"Hey Spencer, you up?"

"Well, hmm...let me think about that." Reid smirked. "What is it, Morgan?"

"You know you can call me Derek,right?"

"Yeah, but I've always called you Morgan. I called you Derek with your mom, though, and I had to correct myself before I said Morgan every time."

"Alright, alright." Morgan laughed. "Fair enough."

"So, what is it?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see if you were awake."

"I am..."

"And I was wondering if I could come over." Reid smiled, glad to have the truth finally come out.

"Sure. It's getting kinda lonely over here, anyways."

"Alright, good. I will be over there soon enough, okay?"

"Okay; bye Morgan." With that, Morgan hung up.

'Damn it, what I am going to do?' But Reid didn't have time to muse over every reason against it and/or for it. He had to make a decision now or risk possibly ruining his whole relationship with Morgan...

A few minutes later, Derek was knocking on the door to his apartment. He quickly opened it and guided Morgan inside. Morgan couldn't help but notice how quiet Reid was being, and it made him frown.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, I'm just...just nervous, is all." Reid admitted.

"About what?"

Reid seemed to stop to consider his choice of words for a moment, but after a while, he decided to just get it out in the open. "Sex."

Morgan seemed to be taken aback by the answer, but after a minute he couldn't help but have to hide his smile, knowing Reid needed reassurance before anything happened.

"I mean, we don't have work tomorrow, we're both pretty stressed right now.." Reid started.

"Spencer, are you sure you're ready for that?" Morgan asked, praying for the answer he really wanted.

"Yes; I'm ready." Reid answered, suddenly unsure if he really was. With that, Reid started walking toward his bedroom, his heart stuck in his throat as he tried to gather up the courage for what he was about to do. Morgan followed behind him, a hand supportively placed around his lover's waist. Finally, they reached the bedroom.

If Reid was being perfectly honest with himself, he had no idea what to do at this point. So he waited for Morgan to make the first move. Before he could even register what was happening, both Morgan and himself were naked on his bed.

_"Whoa, whoa,whoa!" the drunk agent slurred. "Where's a sexy thing like you going alone this late at night?"_

Reid tensed up at the new thought. He tried to push it away, but he couldn't. The thoughts came flooding back in...

_I'm not letting someone as pretty as you just walk out of my life without a little action." he nearly purred. "And besides, who am I to let that little ass of yours go to waste?"_

_Reid tried to scream, butt he man's lips on his own muffled it so no one could hear. Before Reid knew what was happening, he was pushed completely onto the table being pinned down by rough hands on his slightly-curved hips..._

That was it; Reid was officially panicking now. "Morgan stop." Reid whispered. But Morgan kept on prodding his pale, fragile body. "Morgan stop." This time, he said it louder, but still received the same response. "Morgan STOP!" This time, Morgan stopped, and it became clear he wasn't happy about it.

"What the hell Reid?" he glared, making Reid feel small.

"I-I'm sorry. I panicked and-" Reid stuttered.

"Is this about what happened at the bar?" Morgan asked, earning a nod from Reid. "You have GOT to be joking!" Suddenly, Morgan got off the bed and quickly put his clothes on. "It's not like he even did anything with you! All he did was feel you up a little! So what? Happens all the time! But you always blow things out of proportion. I swear, you'll do ANYTHING to get attention! I bet you let him do it willingly!"

"Morgan, I didn't-" Reid started, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Forget it, kid! You are so pathetic. I don't even know what I saw in you. You're just a selfish little brat who thinks that the world should stop everything and pay attention to you!

"I was raped Reid, as a kid! You were touched by a grown man just last week. So what? Get over it! If anyone should have a problem with having sex with another man it should be me!"

"Get out." Reid finally said; he couldn't take it anymore.

"What did you just tell me?" Morgan asked, now inching closer to Reid.

Get. Out." Reid said a little weaker.

"Now, there's no way in HELL I'm gonna take order from YOU!" By this point, Morgan had lost control of his temper. He reached over to Reid and slapped him so hard on his cheek that the force from his hand sent him falling to his bedroom floor. Reid gasped as the stinging in his cheeks grew more intense, and he wiped blood off his cheeks with a shaky hand. Suddenly, Morgan kicked Reid in the stomach, yelling something at him, but he couldn't make out what exactly was being said. He suddenly felt dizzy; he couldn't distinguish the floor from the ceiling anymore...

Morgan suddenly realizing what he was doing- beating the crap out of Reid. He stopped, letting Reid fall limp on the floor. "Oh my god." he whispered. How could he have hurt Spencer- _his _Spencer? He overreacted, and now Reid was hurt. Morgan's hands shook fiercely as he backed out of Reid's bedroom.

He had really screwed up this time...

Once Reid was sure that Morgan had left, he managed to crawl up on his bed. He pulled the sheets over his exposed and now bruised body, crying out from emotional and physical pain. He thought that Morgan loved him, but he hurt me. And now, he was naked on his bed with a bloody face and a sore body.

As Reid's damned eidetic memory played the scene over and over again in his head, his hands inched toward his leg. He dug his long nails into skin, just about ready to tear his skin off his body if it was physically possible to...

Hotch woke up a few minutes after 4 am. Something felt off to him, but he didn't know what. There was a nagging feeling in his stomach that something was wrong, and he had a feeling he knew what it was. Hotch reached for his phone and dialed the familiar number. When there was no answer, he threw on some day clothes and headed out the door...

"**...If I had kept to the original version, you guys woulda really been upset with me :) But that version's never coming out of my computer. In fact, I'm about to delete it...R&R?..." **


	12. Secrets

"**...You find out who our friends are when they ask you if you've gone insane :) hehehe...Thnx everyone! Now, read on if you need to be convinced that I haven't. Er, read anyways! Oh little fun fact: I had to rewrite this three times because my laptop hates me and refuses to save anything!...Oh, warning for 'mild language' toward the end/middle..."**

Pain-Chapter 11

Secrets

Aaron Hotcher sped through the freeway, his mind going as fast as his car was. 'I hope it isn't as bad as it was last time,' he thought. 'No, don't think like that! He's earned my trust; he wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally.'

But Hotch couldn't help but feel a little panicked. What if he had? What if it was actually worse this time? He pushed the thoughts out of his head, though. He needed to concentrate on getting to his agent before something bad happened.

When Hotch finally pulled into the Athletic Enthusiasts parking lot, he stopped his car and quickly ran into the gym. He flashed his membership card at the man standing at the door, and he received the nod that signaled it was okay for him to go in. once he was inside, he darted tot he too-familiar area. Once he saw the man he was looking for, he dropped his coat on a near-by chair and took the punching bag that laid to the man's left side.

"What happened?" Hotch asked.

"I really messed up." Morgan grunted between aggressive hits to the poor punching bag that now had more that its fair share of scuff marks and rips on it.

"Morgan, what did you do?"

"I hurt him, Hotch. I hurt him!" With every word he spoke, his hits became more and more frequent and hard.

"Reid?" Hotch guessed. Morgan just nodded. "You hurt Reid?"

"Damn it Hotch! I hurt him! How the hell am I going to face him again? He probably thinks I'm a monster!"

"You need to tell him that truth. He'll understand. I mean, he told you about his scratches. I's obvious he trusts you; maybe it's time to trust him back."

"It's not that simple." Morgan argued, shaking his head.

"Yes it is; it's you who's making things so complicated." Hotch interjected.

"No Hotch, I was an idiot for letting him get so close I should have known that I would have just ended up hurting him!"

"The more you keep talking like this-acting like this- the more you let him win. He tried to destroy you, Morgan. Are you really going to let him win?" This time, Morgan didn't answer. All he did was continue punching the bag in front of him to death, imagining the man who had hurt him so much.

"Who's going to win Morgan, him or you?" Hotch asked again, this time sterner.

At one point or another, Hotch realized that he wasn't going to be getting a response from Morgan. See that he was just wasting his time, he left the gym. He didn't want to, but since Morgan wouldn't talk to him, he at least wanted to stop by Reid's apartment...

Hotch made it to the apartment in a few short minutes due to him driving thirty miles over the speed limits. There weren't any cops or any other cars around, and he wanted to see Reid very soon,so he figured that he could let it slide this once.

"Reid, it's Hotch!" he called from the door. No answer. "Reid? Spencer!" Still, no answer. After a few minutes of standing in front of Reid's door, he realized that he had a spare key to Reid's apartment. Feeling like an idiot, he unlocked the door.

"Reid!" Hotch shouted as he paced through the apartment, looking for his youngest subordinate. Finally, he reached he end of the small hallway and found Reid. He was curled up on his bed-his chest bare- and Hotch could see some of his leg poking through the sheets-also bare, but also bloody. He sat down next to Reid and gently touched the crying man's shoulder.

"Spencer, are you okay?" he asked quietly, trying not to alarm him. Reid just sniffled and pulled the covers off of his leg, making Hotch realize that he was entirely naked. He examined his leg and the scratch marks on them. "Did he do this?"

"No, he just did everything else." Reid replied, sound broken and afraid.

"I thought you were over the scratching."

"I-I scratch when I-I'm afraid a-and..."But Reid never finished the sentence; his tears covered up his voice.

"Shh, it's okay Reid. He didn't mean to hurt you. You know that." Hotch soothed.

"I-I know." Reid repeated, as if trying to convince himself it was true.

"Is it okay if I hug you?" Hotch asked, not wanting to scare him even more. Reid just nodded. As afraid as he was of being touched right now- especially of Morgan touching him- he really wanted the comfort. He had become so used to it ever since Morgan started dating him, and now he wished that Morgan was here again.

Hotch wrapped an arm gently around Reid, taking notice of Reid's shaking hands. Reid let his body lay stiff against Hotch as he tried to slow down his breathing with little success.

"Where are you hurt?"

"He-he slapped me on the face an-and kicked my stomach."

"Can I see your stomach?" Reid was reluctant, suddenly taking stock in the fact that he was naked. "Do you want to put some clothes on first?"

"Yeah." Reid admitted.

"Alright, I'll be in the living room. Just tell me when you're done and we can go back to your bedroom."

"No, I-I don't want to go back!" Reid said, clearly panicked.

"Okay, we can go in the living room."

"Sorry. I just...just..."

"I know Reid." Hotch reassured as he closed the bedroom door.

'

Hotch walked into the living room, settling down on the couch. He had a feeling Reid was more emotionally pained than physically, and he knew that Reid and Morgan were going to need a lot of help learning how to trust each other after this. He just wished that Morgan would tell Reid what was wrong with him.

Suddenly, Hotch heard the door open.

"Morgan, what are you doing here?" Hotch asked, jumping off the couch.

"I have to talk to him!"

"No Morgan, not now. He needs some time."

"Screw time, Hotch; I have to talk to him!"

Before Hotch could stop him, Morgan rushed to the back of the small apartment, ready to barge into Reid's bedroom...

Reid stood in front of his mirrored closet door, taking in the sight of his battered body. He desperately wanted to have his clothes on, but he couldn't find the will to move. Somehow or another, he ended up on the floor. He wrapped a small blanket around the lower half of his body and started crying.

A few minutes later, he heard his door being opened. Morgan took in the sight of his boyfriend, curled up on the floor wearing nothing more than a transparent, thin sheet. He couldn't take it anymore; he had caused him to hurt and cry, and now it was his job to fix it. But he couldn't do it; he needed to leave before he lost his mind.

Reid looked up at Morgan with sad, teary eyes as Morgan left the bedroom. "He always leaves..." Reid whispered...

Morgan tore through Reid's apartment and out the door so fast the Hotch almost didn't see him do it. When he did see him, though, he ran out after him.

"Morgan! What the hell is your problem?" Hotch hissed, stopping Morgan before he entered his car.

"What do you want me to say, Hotch?" Morgan shouted back.

"I want you to tell your boyfriend that you still love him! I want you to tell him that he isn't a selfish pile of shit! Do you know how you made him feel, Morgan? Do you know what your actions have caused him? This is EXACTLY why you needed to talk to him before this got out of hand! We both knew that you'd end up snapping at one point or another, and the least you could have done is talk to him and tell him why!"

"It doesn't matter now, Hotch! I've fucked this up too badly to fix. How could he ever forgive me? How could he ever look at me again without thinking of a disgusting man who tried to hurt him?"

"You know just as much as I do that he'd forgive if you told him the truth. You can't keep lying to him, Morgan. He deserves to know the truth." Hotch intercepted, finally losing the anger from his voice. He was sick of yelling to try to make sense for Morgan. It was time Morgan stopped being a moron and finally admit what had happened to him.

"I know Hotch!" Then, Morgan finally sighed, knowing that he had been defeated. "I know." he whispered.

"Morgan, he needs to know what happened. He needs you right now. He's in his bedroom crying because of what you did to him, Morgan. And you can fix it! We both know you can! When you tell him, you'll both feel so much better, and you know that I'm right."

"I should've told him when we first started our relationship. I can't help but feel that if I had just told him, he wouldn't be crying right now. My-my pretty boy wouldn't be hurting." Morgan could've cried right then and there, but he refused to. Not until he knew Spencer was going to be alright, at least.

"Come on; let's go back to his apartment. You can wait in the living room and I can make sure that he's alright and ready to talk. Okay?"

"Alright Hotch, let's get this over with." Morgan nodded. With that, they walked back to Reid's apartment, all the while preparing themselves mentally...

"Spencer, can I come in?" Hotch asked as he knocked on Reid's bedroom door.

"Yeah." he whispered.

When Hotch walked in, Reid was still laying on the floor, absent-mindedly cleaning the blood off his leg. He still only had a thin sheet covering him up, which both surprised and scared Hotch. He made a mental note to ask Reid why he had been naked to begin with.

"Hey Spencer, Morgan's here. He's ready to talk to you."

"He-he's hiding something, isn't he?" Hotch nodded. "Will-will it explain why he hurt me?" Reid asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yes Spencer, it does. He should have told you before you two started a relationship together, but it's too late for that now. You should know that he still loves you, probably more than you could ever think. I know that it's no excuse for what he did, but you have to understand that he never meant to hurt you."

"I- I figured as much when he left. He looked s-so sad." Reid sighed. "Will you help me, uh, get dressed? I'm having a hard time moving my leg." he blushed.

"Of course Reid." Hotch said with a reassuring smile. He knew that Reid wasn't comfortable with the whole idea of getting dressed with Hotch's help, but he was glad that Reid was at least willing to relieve help.

In a few minutes, Hotch had Reid dressed and headed toward his small living room...

Morgan managed to give Reid a small smile when he entered the room. It wasn't returned.

"Tell me, Morgan. This has gone on far too long." Reid said, starting the conversation.

"When we were in your bedroom, you weren't the only one who panicked." Morgan admitted. "After...after you told me you wanted to stop, I remembered something I would have rather not have remembered."

"What memory?" Reid asked, having a bad feeling he knew what it was.

"I always thought that I was gay. I hung out with women all the time to throw off any suspicions, though. In Chicago, I just didn't want anyone to know, but when I joined the FBI, I was afraid that I may not be hired or some other stupid crap like that. I have had a few boyfriends, but the last one I had was the year after I joined the BAU.

"His name was James. He was a big guy, but he seemed nice enough. He was attractive and muscular, and at the time I thought that he'd be nice to get to know, but I quickly learned that I was wrong..."

_Morgan walked side-by-side with James, who was telling him about his family. They both smiled and laughed at their stories until they were ready to head back in for the night._

"_Hey, do you want to head over to my place?" James asked suggestively. _

"_Yeah, sure." Morgan smiled, glad that he seemed to it. He was hoping that he would be, and he couldn't help but be exited to be going upstairs with the man. _

_When they entered the house, Morgan frowned. His eyes skimmed over to a bag with a suspicious-looking substance. He had a feeling he knew what it was, and he knew that it was time for him to leave. _

"_Hey, you want a hit?" James asked as he picked up the bag._

"_Uh, no thanks. Actually, I think I need to go back to my place-" Morgan started, but James cut him off._

"_It's the weed, isn't it?" he asked. _

"_Sorry man, I just need to check on my dog." _

"_I don't appreciate lairs." he snarled, suddenly pulling Morgan onto his bed. _

"_Hey man! The hell?" _

"_If you're not gonna come willingly, I'll take you by force!" he spat. It was obvious that the man was high, and that scared Morgan. _

"_You don't have to do this.." Morgan started._

"_I do."_

_Before Morgan knew it, he was wearing nothing with a weed addict on top of his body. _

_All through the night, James screamed horrible names at Morgan- calling him stupid, disgusting, a slut, and a mouthful of other horrible words that Morgan hoped he would never help to repeat. That wasn't even the worst pat, though. Afterward, he beat the hell out of Morgan and repeated the names over and over and over, all the while spitting on him repeatedly. By the time the whole situation was over, Morgan was black and blue head to toe, littered with bite marks, bruises, and scars, was bloody everywhere, and was completely and hopelessly exhausted. He couldn't move, think, or feel anything for hours. Finally, James grew tired of playing with Morgan and threw his body in the dumpster behind his house. _

_Morgan didn't have the strength to move out of the dumpster for a few more hours. At first, he was reluctant to because he was still naked and he was was still...upset...about what had happened. He fiercely wiped the tears from his eyes as he tried his best not to cry anymore. He lifted his body up with his weak arms. As soon as he was out of the dumpster, his body hit the ground. He didn't even attempt to get up, he just stayed on the ground and covered himself with his hands. He fell to sleep a few minutes later, just slightly aware of a familiar figure hovering over his body..._

_When Morgan woke up, he was in the hospital with a blanket wrapped over him. Apparently Hotch had found him in the alley and had rushed him to the hospital. Later on when he asked Hotch about that blanket, he told him that he knew that he'd be cold from the shock. _

_Reluctantly, Morgan told Hotch what had happened, know it was the least that he owed him. In return, Hotch had agreed to keep the event quiet with the team. Hotch knew how bad the situation had messed Morgan up, but he couldn't say anything about it at the time._

_For a few months, Morgan and Hotch talked about what had happened after work but for no loner than ten minutes each time. Each month, they talked less and less until they stopped talking all together._

_Not even half a year after the incident, the Carl Buford case came into play. The event further screwed up Morgan, making things more and more difficult for him. Only Hotch noticed how hard the events had been for Morgan, and he wished he could just tell someone, but he knew he couldn't. _

_That was when Morgan's 'anger issues' came out. _

_For the first few weeks following the case, Morgan went to the gym and brat the hell out of anything that he was allowed it. He would get so angry that even when Hotch came by he would either punch Hotch or scream at him and continue to punch something else. Luckily, his anger became more manageable, but he still didn't have total control over it. _

_Hotch demanded Morgan take therapy, saying that he needed to get control over himself before it started affecting his work. He went to anger management for a while, but it only seemed to aggravate the situation. Eventually, Morgan was prescribed a pill that he was supposed to take everyday for it. _

_The pill didn't last long, of course. Morgan took it for about two months, and each day he seemed more in control, so he thought that he didn't need it anymore. He kept the pills, but he hadn't used them since. He could see the change in himself almost immediately. He was on edge a lot more than he was without it, he was more easily upset, and, all in all, he had less control over his anger spouts. He knew that he needed to take the pill, but it made him feel like less of a man, so he decided to deal with it on his own..._

Just as the story ended, another knocked made everyone jump. Reid looked fearfully from Morgan to Hotch before standing up to answer it. When he did, a smile braced his face. Morgan and Hotch couldn't tell if it was a sincere one of a faked one, but either way they were glad to see him doing something other than crying.

"Oh, hi Mrs. Fran..."

"**...She just always shows up at the wrong time, doesn't she? Well, I for one am amazed that this chap is the size of three! I debated about making the flashback a chap of its own, but then it would have been an open ending, and I don't like those. Pleaz see my profile pg for an extended AN's. Oh, for those who are interested, by new M/R is going to be up tomorrow and will be called 'Addicted Innocence.' R&R if you hate me a little less/more now :)..." **


	13. Aftermath

"**...Well, I think this has to be one of the most controversial stories on FanFic. Seems like half of you like it now, and half of you hate it. Gosh, I LOVE this! (no sarcasm intended) hehehe...R&R if you are still hanging in there!..."**

Pain-Chapter 12

Aftermath

_Reid looked fearfully from Morgan to Hotch before standing up to answer it. When he did, a smile braced his face. Morgan and Hotch couldn't tell if it was a sincere one of a faked one, but either way they were glad to see him doing something other than crying._

_"Oh, hi Mrs. Fran..."_

"Hell Spencer." Fran smiled back, but her smiled turned upside down when she realized that he had a large, red mark across his face. She quickly grabbed Reid's hands and led him back to the other man. She laid a hand gently on his cheek, fussing over him. "My, what happened here?" she demanded.

"Oh, it was nothing." Reid reassured. "I kind of ran into my cabinets this morning." Reid even managed to blush, trying to feign embarrassment.

"You really should be more careful, Spencer. That's a horrible looking mark!"

"I know." Reid laughed nervously, his fake smile securely in place.

"Oh, Agent Hotchner! What brings you here?" Fran asked finally taking notice of her son's boss.

"I just came by to tell Morgan and Reid that the case that we were going to work tomorrow has been delayed, if not canceled. Apparently, the cops in Vermont think that they've figured out who the UnSub is." Hotch smoothly lied, not missing a beat.

"That's good." Fran smiled. "Maybe we could catch up-you know, just my two favorite men and Desiree. We could go hang out in the town."

"Actually, I was thinking about flying out to Las Vegas to see my mother." Reid said.

"Well that's a nice idea; I'm sure your mother misses you a lot right now." she smiled. Then, turning to Hotch, she continued. "You have a son, right?" Hotch nodded. "Why don't you stop on by and pick him up? We could all hang out for some breakfast and besides, I'd love to see how handsome your son is. I mean, someone as good-looking as yourself must produce some pretty offspring."

"I'd love to, but I had an early lunch planned with Haley's sister. She's been helping out a lot ever since Haley's passing, and I wanted to do something nice for her." Hotch replied, this time giving thee truth. He had in fact had a lunch planned, and he also wanted to see his son since they didn't have a case.

"This is nice- everyone's going home to see their family! With your jobs, I know how difficult that can be. Well, I guess Derek and I will meet up with you guys later. Have fun with your mom, Spencer." With a final wave good-bye, Derek and his mother left.

There was an awkward silence after the Morgans left. Hotch put a supportive hand on Reid's shoulder, knowing how hard the whole situation was on Reid. He had just found out that his boyfriend- perhaps even _ex-_boyfriend- was raped by some junkie, and that combined with his anger issues caused him to snap when they were in bed. He didn't even have time to talk about it with Morgan, and chances were that if they didn't, they would break up.

Suddenly, a new thought came to Hotch. 'The scratches.'

"Reid, what about your scratches?"

"I think that was a one-time thing this time. I'm taking a pill now for depression, and my therapist-" Reid suddenly stopped, remembering that he had his weekly appointment in an hour.

"What is it?"

"I have an appointment in an hour." Reid admitted. "I-I guess I'll just cancel. I normally have Morgan there to help me, and I don't think I could do it alone."

"I'll go with you."

"What? No Hotch, I'm not going to make you do that. You've done so much for me already, and you have that lunch date today-"

"My lunch date is at 12. I told them it was earlier because I didn't want to go with them; it would've been too awkward." Hotch confessed. "You're appointment is at 10?" Reid nodded. "And they are about an hours long?" Another nod. "I think we could make it. Come on; get ready and we'll head on out." Reid started to protest, but he was halted. "You need to go, Reid."

"I know." Reid whispered back. With a small nod toward the bedroom from Hotch, Reid wandered back to his room, preparing for his therapy date.

And dreading it all the while...

"Who is this?" Dr. Isaac asked.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner- Reid's boss." Hotch introduced.

"Nice to meet you." the doctor smiled. "May I ask where Derek is?"

Reid kept his gaze down. He didn't want to talk about Derek anymore; he just wanted to be left alone for a few hours.

Seeing that Reid wasn't going to answer, he decided to answer. "They had a bit of an argument."

"Did he hit Spencer?"

"Yes, but he can't control it. He-he has anger management issues, and he doesn't want to take his pills anymore. He promised me that he would go back on them immediately." Hotch sighed.

"Are you two still together?" Dr. Isaac asked.

"I-I honestly don't know." Reid admitted, never looking up. Deciding that Reid wasn't going to talk unless he was he was personally asked a question, he continued.

"Do you want to be together still?"

"Yes. No...Maybe?"

"Do you think you can forgive him?"

"I-I want to."

"Do you love me?"

"What?" both Hotch and Reid said, both of the looking up.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see your face. Despite what many people here think, I am both a mental and 'real doctor.' I wanted to see how bad it was." Dr. Isaac mumbled as he assessed the large red mark. "Looks like he slapped you hard, which I'm sure you've already gathered. Did you hurt you any other way?" Reid just nodded in response. "Where?"

"His stomach." Hotch answered.

"Could I see it?" Without another thought, Reid lifted up his shirt before he lost the nerve to do so. The apparently 'real doctor' glanced over the kick marks on his patient's small, pale stomach. The marks looked, at first, hard and dangerous, but fresher ones seemed more reluctant and soft, as if he felt remorse and regret. "I agree with you about the anger issues. I can tell that he later regretted the situation he had created. I understand that doesn't make his actions any better, but I honestly do believe that it was an accident."

"I know." Reid whispered. "I know. I just...need some time to figure it out for my own. I want to think about...all of this...without someone else asking me how I feel."

"I understand, Spencer." Dr. Isaac nodded. "And I think it would be a good idea for you not to come to our next session. First off, I won't be here, and it would have been optional anyways, and also because I think you should take some time off and think things through."

"Actually, I was going to go to Vegas to visit my mother." Reid admitted.

"Well, it's settled then! A little road trip for yourself, but if you think that you would like some company, perhaps you could bring along someone who could help you get our mind off things."

"Like Garcia." Hotch smiled. Reid couldn't help but smile back; a road trip to Vegas with Garcia? Now, THAT would be fun, he thought.

"Who's Garcia?" Dr. Isaac asked.

"She's a very quirky, happy person who knows how to make anyone feel better." Reid replied.

"Well, she seems like a good candidate. Just keep in mind that you don't have to bring anyone, but it might be a good idea."

"I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

"Alright; well, I think this would be a good place to end for today. See you next week, Spencer. Good to meet you, Hotch."

"It was a pleasure meeting you as well. Goodbye, I wish you all the best." With that, Reid and Hotch dismissed themselves...

"**...Will Spencey go on the trip with Garcia? Will he forgive Morgan? Will Morgan forgive himself? Will Spencey decide to die ALL of his clothes (excluding pants, because that's just creepy) purple? I vote yes for the last one. :) hehehe...R&R?..."**


	14. Road Trip

"**...Im starting a new CM writing contest...And its going to hopefully be epic :) I'll post stuff about it A-sap, but in the meantime, review if ur interested!..."**

**Pain-Chapter 14**

Road Trip

Spencer Reid finished packing for his trip in less than half an hour. He quickly threw whatever he thought he might need into his suitcase, not really caring at this point. He was too upset about what had happened with Morgan. When they were in his bed, he had seemed so understanding and caring, but in a moment's notice, he became extremely angry. He sighed, wishing he could just forget that the whole thing ever happened, but at the same time, he wished that Morgan was here to talk about it with him.

Once he finished packing, he picked up his cell phone. Garcia has instructed him to call when he was ready, reassuring him that he had bought them their tickets.

"Hey Reid!" Garcia greeted.

"Hi Garcia, I just finished packing."

"Alright, I'll be over shortly. I'm just going to say goodbye to Kevin really quick and then I will be on my way."

"Thanks Garcia."

"No problem, Reid." With that, she hung up.

Reid sat down on his bed, trying to think of how he was going to tell Garcia about what had happened. All he had told her so far was that Morgan and himself had had an argument, and he wanted to leave town for a little while. He hadn't told her the extent of their argument, and he was now regretting that. 'What's done is done.' he thought. 'At least I can see my mom again.'

Reid's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He jumped, the sudden sound scaring him. After recovering, he stood up and opened the door.

"Oh my god! What happened to you?" Garcia immediately asked.

"Um, Morgan and I had a bit of a misunderstanding. He-he hit hit. It looks a lot worse than it is, and he really didn't mean to do it." Reid stammered, hoping she wouldn't have caught on that quickly.

"A bit of a misunderstanding? Reid, he hit you! Did he do anything else to you?" She pushed Reid back into his apartment and onto his couch.

"Garcia, can we talk about this later? We're going to miss our flight-" Reid started, but the look on Garcia's face stopped him. "What is it?"

"I...I didn't buy ticket to Vegas." she finally admitted.

"Why?"

"Because I called your mother's sanitarium before I bought them. I asked how she was doing, and they said she hasn't been very lucid the past few weeks."

"What?"

"As you know, they changed her medication, and it takes a few weeks to get used to them again. Well, it's been more than a few weeks, and they were about to call you, actually, when I told them I would tell you myself. Her doctor said that the symptoms are dying down some, and next week she should be fine." Reid just looked down at his lap. He expected it as much, knowing that his mother always took adjusting to medications harder than the doctors expected. If he wasn't still upset about Morgan, he guessed that the news would have hit him a little harder than it currently was. "I'm sorry Reid."

Reid looked up at Garcia, his still red cheek raising a little in a horrible attempt to smile. "I guess I understand; I mean, my mom always takes to a change in a medication pretty bad at first." Then, looking a bit less serious, he continued. "Where exactly are you taking me, anyways?"

Garcia smiled at Reid, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "I guess you'll just have to wait to find out." Garcia then forcefully pulled Reid up by his hand, ready to begin their road trip...

"So Derek, how's life with Spencer going?" Desiree asked.

"It's going really good, actually. He's just so perfect for me, ya know?" Morgan lied.

"Right, now tell us the truth." Fran challenged.

"It's going like any other relationship- ups and downs, a fight here and there, but it's nice. We really...like each other."

"Like each other?" Desiree smirked. "You haven't even got past 'like'?"

"Your sister's right, Derek. I see the way you two look at each other. You love him, and I'm pretty sure he loves you." Fran interjected.

"I know Ma, but we're...taking things slow." Morgan sighed.

"Is that supposed to be a good thing?"Desiree mumbled.

"Hey, little miss, you don't know Spencer like your brother does. If they think it's best to take things slow, then so do I." Fran interjected. "And besides, it's none of our business what Morgan does...romantically."

"Hey, wait a second! You don't think we've..." Morgan started.

"Well, not anymore, I don't." Desiree smiled. "What, don't tell me you'll be his first!"

"Alright, I won't." Morgan smirked.

"Hmm...Doesn't surprise me." Fran admitted.

"Hey, hey,hey! Can we get off the topic of my love life?"

"Aren't we defensive?" Desiree joked.

"Alright, alright. Leave your brother alone now."

"Desiree, what have you been up to?"

The breakfast went well after that. Morgan successfully avoided talking about Reid for the rest of the conversation, but all he could think about was his pretty boy. He wanted so bad to hold him and stop his crying, reassuring him that it would never happen again and beg him for forgiveness. But he knew things weren't that simple, and he knew that he had to clean up his mess- one way or another..

"Garcia, we've been driving for at least two hours now. _Where _are we going?" Reid asked, finally losing his patience.

"Oh, sorry sweetie, but the traffic's worse than I expected. I have some snacks in that green back in the back. Could you reach back and grab it?"

"Of course." Reid sighed, still wanting to know where they were going. He passed the heavy bag up to Garcia, who smiled as she dug through it like a child opening a Christmas present.

"What is _that?" _Reid asked as she out a 'mystery bag.'

"Homemade trail mix, silly! Come on, try some!" Reluctantly, Reid reached inside the bag and pulled out half a handful of the mixture. In his hand was now a variety of different nuts, chocolate chips, marshmallows, raisins and craisins, and graham crackers. He pushed the food in his mouth and chewed, finding that it really didn't taste that bad. "What, you've never made trail mix before?"

"No, actually, and although I've heard of it, I've never tried it until now." Reid admitted.

"Oh, I have so much to fix." Garcia cooed.

"I don't want to be fixed." Reid mumbled in response.

Garcia peered over at him, an evil smile crossing her face. "Yeah, well, we'll see about that." Garcia looked to her right, seeing an old-fashioned diner in its place. "Hey, are you hungry?"

"No, not really."

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"No."

"Alright, that's it! We're going to put some food in your belly. I'm not going to let my junior-genius starve because he's upset about his boyfriend. And trust me, when I see Morgan again, he'll be getting an earful...and a little somethin' else!"

"Garcia, don't hurt him. He didn't mean to do this." Reid said, motioning to his face and stomach. He immediately stopped though, realizing he hadn't told her about the kicks yet.

"Whoa, what was that about your stomach?"

"Nothing, Garcia, it was a mistake-"

"Did my dark chocolate hurt my favorite little junior g-man stomach?" Reid didn't answer that time. "When we pull up into that parking lot and get into the diner, I want to know _everything. _Every last excruciating detail about what happened- like, most importantly, what the hell started this all?"

"Look, I'm sorry that I've been lying to you, but I-I..." But what? Reid couldn't finish the sentence. Why was he protecting Morgan? He had hurt him both physically and emotionally.

"I know what you mean. What you're feeling right now- that inner terminal caused by Derek hurting you, that's love. Despite what he did to you, you still love him." Garcia explained with a frown, reaching over to pet Reid's hair down. "Come on, we can talk more when we get inside." Reid nodded and allowed Garcia to guide him into the diner, ready to share the whole story of what had happened for the first time...

"**...I think I'll have 1-3 chaps with Garcia and Spencey on their road trip, but of course you'll be seeing more of Hotch and Morgan :) For those of you who are interested in participating in my CM Ladies Writing Contest, check out my profile. And I may be a little slower with updates this week because I accidentally ripped off some of my nail and have a band aid over it and it gets in my way! R&R...?" **


	15. Truth

"**...It seems I have some very enthusiastic reviewers...And I love them all! Thnx everyone for sticking in there! Now, brace yourself for the next spout of 'Awesome' that I have prepared for you :) hehehe...Oooh, check out my profile for a contest!...And a virtual Reid cookie w/ angst sprinkles to anyone who guesses where Garcia is taking Reid! "**

Pain-Chapter 15

Truth

Spencer Reid sat down opposite of Penelope Garcia, ready to order lunch. He had promised her that he would tell her everything that happened. They were both starving, though, which was the cause to their agreement of talking after they ate.

After a few minutes, Garcia pushed her empty plate off to the side and diverted her attention to Reid, who was picking at his food.

"What, is there something wrong with your sandwich?" Garcia frowned.

"No, it's just...I'm not that hungry." Reid sighed. He really did want to eat the sandwich, but he felt like he was going to puke if he did.

"Sweetie, I thought you were hungry. If you weren't, we didn't have to stop."

"Ah, I was, but I lost my appetite. I think I'll take it with us, though. It looks pretty good." Reid said with a small, obviously forced, smile.

After a moment of silence, Garcia continued talking, ready to start their conversation. "Let me see your stomach." Reid nodded before pulling up his shirt with shaking fingers. He lifted it up so only Garcia could see, having a feeling that the owner wouldn't appreciate him having his shirt lifted up. She let out a small gasp as she took in the black and blue on perfectly pale skin. "Did he.." Garcia started before lowering his voice, "kick you?"

"Yeah Garcia, he kicked me." Reid confirmed as he lowered his shirt back down. "It's a lot worse than it actually is..."

"See, the problem with that statement is that it happened." Garcia intercepted.

"I know." Reid whispered.

"Then do something about it, Reid. Let me help; talk to him about it...Just...just do something." Garcia sighed, clearly frustrated.

"I don't know what to do, though. I-I haven't even told you half of the story yet, Garcia. There's so much more to this than a few kicks and bruises." Reid said.

"Yeah, like what?" But before Reid could answer, Garcia shook her head. "You know what? Never mind. Just...just start the story from the beginning. Start what had caused this whole thing to happen to begin with."

Reid started by explaining what he was planning on doing with Morgan- making love. He told Garcia that both of the were still awake, and Morgan had called. He invited him over so that they could make love, and he patiently waited for his boyfriend to come over. When Morgan finally arrived, he let him in and guided him into the bedroom. From there, everything started off fine, but he was beginning to change his mind. He thought that they were taking things too fast, and he wanted to back out. When Morgan kept going, though, all he could think about was the attack at the bar, and that's when things got rough. Reid didn't tell Garcia what Morgan had called him, knowing that it wouldn't do any harm or good in the situation. He spared as many gruesome details as he could without making her suspicious of holes in his story.

When Spencer had finally finished, almost an hour had passed. Garcia watched with a look of horror, grief, sadness, and anger all throughout the retelling. She suddenly wished she hadn't had remade Spencer live that night over again, but at the same time she was glad he had let her in.

"So, Derek has...anger management issues?" Reid nodded to confirm. "And when you two were in bed, and you told him to stop, he just sorta lost it and snapped?"

"I-I think what made him angry was the situation, not me. I mentioned he had been sexually assaulted when he first joined the BAU, and I think I reminded him of how he felt when he was...when he was..." Reid just couldn't find it in him to say 'raped'. He never wanted the word to be associated with Derek Morgan. Ever. Sensing his inner conflict, Garcia motioned for him to carry on. "I think he was afraid that he had made me the victim, and he felt like that UnSub. If- if we both wouldn't have put so much thought into what was happening-"

"No, Spencer. Don't go there. This isn't your fault. It would have happened eventually, and you couldn't have stopped it. I know that it technically wasn't Derek's fault either, but can you forgive him? I don't want an answer now, but I know that you will eventually, and so will Derek. You need to stop thinking about it for a little while and have some fun, though, or you're going to lose your mind."

"Thanks Garcia." Reid said, wiping away a single tear. "I-I think this may have been a good idea, after all."

"Oh sweetie, you know that's why I'm here." Garcia smiled. "Now come on, we have to hit the road soon if we want to be to our final destination by tonight." With an agreeing nod from Reid, Garcia and Reid started back towards the car, both of them feeling a little better than before...

Derek Morgan feigned a smile as he waved good-bye to his family. They had to leave back to the airport if they were going to make their flight to Chicago on time. As soon as they left his driveway, his smile disappeared and his face hardened. He already missed his Spencer, and he wanted so badly to touch his hair right now, just to know that he was still his. He knew that wasn't going to happen, though. He had messed up too badly.

In truth, he hoped that Spencer didn't take him back. He deserved so much better than him. Although he loved Spencer more than anything or anyone in the world, he didn't want him to stay with the man who had hurt him after he promised Spencer they didn't have to make love if he wasn't comfortable with it. He had hurt Spencer, something he had said he would never do, and he didn't think he could live with himself for doing that.

A knock on his door jolted Morgan out of his thoughts. He sighed before pulling the door open.

"We need to talk." Hotch said, marching past Morgan with all the authority of a commander in the army.

"What about?"

What happened next took Morgan by surprise.

Hotch whipped around and smacked Morgan across the face- _hard. _Then, he pushed Morgan down on his couch, preparing himself for a fight. "I am _so done _playing games with you, Derek! We both know what this is about, and the sooner you admit it, the easier this will be on you.

"Hotch, I don't know what-" Morgan's attempt to talk earned him yet another slap.

"Shut up and listen to me!" Hotch demanded. "You hurt Spencer, and that's not acceptable. What you did was wrong, and we both know that you know that. You need to get your ass in gear and stop hiding in your house and talk to him already! Do you know what this is doing to him? Do you know how he feels right now? He WANTS to forgive you, but he can't do that if you're sitting down on your couch wallowing in self-pity! He loves you, Derek, and you love him. You need to go find him and work this out before I take care of it myself! No one wants to see you two break up, trust me. I've never seen either of you so happy in the time that I've known you than when you're with him. Are you going to let him go, or are you going man up and take care of this? Prove to him that you're going to change. Make him understand you know what you did was wrong and that it'll never happen again."

"I don't deserve him, Hotch." Morgan growled back. "I don't want him to take me back!"

"Like hell you don't! And he loves you, Morgan. You're not just punishing yourself by keeping away; you're punishing him!" Hotch shot back. When he saw Morgan was about to argue again, Hotch slapped him. Again. "Think about it, Morgan, and if you still feel that tomorrow, I'll let it be." Then, for safe measures, he slapped Morgan one more time.

"Thanks." Morgan muttered. Even if he knew that he deserved more than that, Hotch's slaps hurt like a bitch.

"Your welcome." Hotch murmured back, unamused. Then, he left without another word.

'Damn, what am I going to do?"

"**...Dont forget to guess where theyre going! And not 1, not 2, but 3 slaps. Have no fear- theres more :) Thnx for reading! R&R?..." **


	16. Viva New York

"**..I hope to wrap this story up soon so I can start writing some other crap. Keep in mind that you can still enter my CM Ladies Contest. So far, there's not that many entries...R&R...?"**

Pain-Chapter 16

Viva New York

Spencer Reid slept through the rest of the drive. He woke up with Penelope Garcia shaking him awake.

"Where are we?" Reid grumbled, trying his best to sit up.

"Look around you." she smiled back. Reid looked around, seeing signs lit up everywhere- all of them flashing the same name.

New York, New York.

Seeing the look of amazement on Reid's face, Garcia continued talking. "Well, JJ said she wanted to show you around after the case we had with the justice killer, and we both felt kinda bad that you couldn't see it. So, I decided that we should take a look around." Garcia smiled.

"Garcia, this is amazing!"

"I know sweetie; I just hope you can handle all of this." she joked. "I called the Smithsonian Museum and booked a tour, by the way," Garcia added slyly.

"Really?" Reid asked, sounding like a five year old child excited to be getting a new toy.

"Yeah, and then I'm taking you out for ice cream. Come on, we have to leave now if we're going to make it in time." With a smile on their faces, Garcia and Reid drove off until the reached they reached the museum's parking lot...

Derek Morgan felt like crying by the time Aaron Hotchner had left his apartment. He was right about Reid, though. He did want him back. He didn't deserve him, though. As he weighed out the pros and cons of begging Reid to take him back, he sighed. He already knew what he wanted, and he knew what he had to do next. Morgan reached for his phone and dialed the too-familiar number.

"Hotch." the other lined answered.

"Hotch, I know what I have to do." Derek answered.

"Good; do you want me to drive?" Hotch asked.

"No, I think I can manage to drive to his apartment-"

"He's in New York." Hotch interrupted.

"Wait-w_hat? _Why is he in New York?" Morgan questioned, pressing for answers that he knew wouldn't come.

"He's with Garcia. She told me that he was acting pretty down at work, and she wanted to cheer him up. They were going to go to Las Vegas, but Reid's mom just had a change in medication, and she's still adjusting." Hotch explained. "Do you want me to drive?" Hotch asked again.

"Yeah, sure." Morgan sighed. "How long do you think it'll take for you to get-" A knock on the door interrupted him, though. "Sorry Hotch, someone's knocking on my door." When Morgan answered the door, he smiled.

"Damn, that was fast."

"I never left, you know." Hotch smiled back.

"Alright Mr. FBI, let's go." Wit a small laugh, the two men headed toward Hotch's car...

Garcia and Reid had a blast at the Smithsonian. They went to almost every exhibit, stopped to listen to the employees as they described certain sites, and occasionally they stopped to watch the smiles on people's faces as they discovered a new fact about their favorite exhibits.

Before they knew it, they were back at the entrance of the museum. Spencer's smile was much wider and much more sincere than it was when they had entered the museum. That alone made Garcia's grin grow.

"Come on, let's go get some ice cream." she said with a giggle at Spencer's playful antics.

"Can we get sprinkles?" Reid asked with fake excitement.

"Only if you're a good boy."

A few minutes later, Garcia and Reid entered a small, no-brand ice cream shop. It was furnished to look like an old-fashioned New York diner complete with mini-stools and red-striped booths. They chose to sit down at a booth in the corner where they could look out the window but still have a decent amount of privacy.

Garcia looked up at Reid, whose eyes looked sunken in and a bit more sad than they had just seconds ago. She was about to say something when her cell phone went off. Spencer didn't even seem to notice the sudden sound; his eyes kept their steady, yet unfocused gaze.

"Garcia here." she greeted.

"Hey Baby Girl, I'm here with Hotch right now, and we're headed off to New York. Before you say anything, I know that I don't deserve him back, and I know that what I did was not acceptable. I just...I just can't live without him, though. I'm coming to apologize, and you can't stop me from doing that." Morgan said, his words rushing out of his mouth.

"I know Morgan, I know." Garcia sighed. "Just...Just call me back when you get here, okay?"

The words 'Morgan' and 'get here' stood out to Reid, and they brought him out of his thoughts. "Morgan's coming?" Reid asked in a small voice after Garcia closed her phone shut.

"Yeah sweetie, he's coming." Garcia replied, offering a sympathic smile afterward.

Then, without warning, Spencer began crying. Garcia immediately jumped out of her seat across from him to sit next to him. She pulled her younger friend's head down onto her shoulder, letting the man cry freely.

"I know Spencer, I know." she whispered. "It's going to be okay, though. I promise..."

Derek Morgan grew antsy in the passenger side of Hotch's car. Aaron Hotchner looked over at Morgan, sensing his discomfort.

"It's going to work out; you know that already." Hotch said.

"Yeah, I know." Morgan sighed.

The rest of the car ride was silent as the two FBI agents sped down the streets and freeways until they finally reached New York. Now, all they had to do was reach New York City. With one last look at each other, the two men braced themselves for the emotional roller coaster they were about to ride..

Neither of them knowing how bad it would actually be until it was too late...

"**..For some reason, this was really hard to write. And this wins worst chapter name EVER! R&R...? Oh, little warning: less than 5 chaps left...I think..." **


	17. Visitation Rights

"**...The reunion! YAY! R&R?...Also, PLEASE enter my contest! If I get five people to enter, I'll update this story TWO times in ONE day! HA! Motivation, right?.."**

Pain-Chapter 17

Visitation Rights

Derek Morgan sat across from Spencer Reid, Garcia and Hotch sitting around the table behind them. For the last half hour, they had all just been staring at each other. Hotch and Garcia were too busy watching Morgan and Reid stare at each other to strike up polite conversation, and Morgan and Reid were too busy trying to avoid their conversation to notice the two staring at them.

"Hey." Reid finally said, offering a small smile.

"Hey yourself." Morgan said with a laugh. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, my boyfriend screwed up, and I wanted to talk to him about it. He's not doing a very fine job of it, though." Reid sighed. "I wanted to forgive him, you know, but he still won't talk to me. I mean, the last time we talked, he managed to squeeze out seven words on forty-five minutes."

"The guy sounds like a jerk. Why do you still want to be with him?"

"Because I love him, and he told me he would never screw up in that way again. I'll expect him to screw up every now and then, but he promised me he was getting help to fix what he did, and I really hope he does. I can handle an occasional fight, just as long as he promises not to hurt me again- physically hurt me." Reid explained.

"Well, at least he's making an effort, right? That tells me he still loves you. Maybe you guys could try again, but take things slow- lay down some visitation rights, you know?" Morgan suggested.

"That sounds fair." Reid smiled.

"You can't just forgive him on a whim, though. You have to make him prove himself again. There is no excuse for abusing you. There's no way that you could have fended him off; you're so thin, and you were in a vulnerable situation. He took advantage of you."

"But he didn't mean to. I know that there's no way he would have hurt me if he could control it-"

"If he could lose control that easily, what makes you think he won't do it again?" Morgan growled, obviously annoyed at how easily his friend would take his boyfriend back.

"Because it's not like that anymore." Reid said, snapping back.

"Oh, and how so?" Morgan asked sarcastically, although he knew Reid would answer anyways.

"He has anger management problems, which is why he hurt me in the first place. He-he told me that he was going to start taking his pills again, and he told me he was getting help. He promised he'd go to his therapist that I'm not supposed to know about and tell him that he was an idiot for not listening to him in the first place and beg for a new refill."

"I doubt he said that..."

"Of course he didn't, but it's unspoken things like that that could avoid situations like he put me in. I knew about his problem for a while, and I shouldn't have pushed him like that. I know it wasn't my fault, though, but I still wish he'd trust me enough to tell me when something's wrong. He knows I trust him, so I don't see why he can't trust me. I think it's the least that I've earned."

"I think he understands that, but it's just too hard for him to do. It sounds like he has trust issues, if you ask me."

"I _know _he has trust issues, but he used to trust me." Reid sighed.

"Have you considered that it isn't you who he doesn't trust but rather himself?"

"I have, actually."

"It's true, Spencer."

"I know, Morgan. I just...I know what it's like not to trust yourself, and I don't want to consider that an option for you. It' not pretty- not trusting yourself, that is. It's self-destructive, and it'll tear the best of us apart. And...and when I was in that situation, you helped me through it. I want to help you now."

"I know Spencer. I'm just not used to this. I want to take care of you- I don't want you to have to take care of me. I'm the one who hurt you; you should hate me."

"I don't hate you, Morgan. And I want to take care of you,too. I don't want to be the one who constantly needs you when you seem to never have a problem. When you do have a problem, though, you shut me out and don't talk about. That's going to have to change-starting _now. _You hurt your boyfriend, and although he's forgiven you, you can't forgive yourself. That's something WE can figure out together. You don't have to be alone anymore."

"I want to stay with you. I love you." Morgan said after a brief silence.

"I love you too, Morgan." Reid replied, a single tear rolling down his eye. Morgan smiled sadly as he wiped it away, reaching over the table. Reid found himself smiling back at him, a sincere smile.

"I think we're going to make it." Morgan whispered.

"Yeah, me too." They shared a brief look before continuing, letting the finally comfortable silence set in.

"They'll be visitation rights, of course." Morgan started. "We'll take things slow. We can start with hand holding, goodnight kisses, cuddling..." Morgan sighed. "We'll make it through." he said, nodding his head.

"Sounds like a good plan." Reid said with a small smile.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Morgan replied. Then, he extended his hand to Reid, who immediately took it. How about we get out of here? I don't know about you, but I want to go home."

"Only if you're there."

"Aw..." someone from behind them cooed. They both turned around to see who it was.

"Baby Girl, let the grown-ups talk." he scolded, wagging a finger with a playful smile on his face.

"Well, the 'grown-ups' are done talking." Reid smirked.

"It's good to know that all is well with my two favorite boys." she sighed happily.

"Hey.." Hotch mumbled, playing with his drink.

"Oh you know I still love you. Besides, I said boys, not men." This time, Reid and Morgan 'hey-ed'. "You're both boys because your younger than-" But when she saw Hotch glaring at her, she didn't dare finish the sentence. "Lovely weather, 'ey?" she said instead.

"Yeah, perfect." Morgan snickered as he pulled Spencer's hand into his own. Spencer smiled up at Morgan, glad to see him act like himself again.

"Come on; I think it's time to go home." Hotch said. "Morgan, you can drive my car and take Spencer. I'll ride with Garcia."

"Are you sure? You don't have to..."

"I'm not letting my babies separate when you guys just got back together." Garcia interjected. "You don't have a choice- take his car."

"Yes ma'am." Morgan smirked. Hotch smiled a bit at their exchange; he was glad to see they were finally getting together again.

"We should get going now." Hotch said. "I think you need to get your boyfriend home, Morgan." he added with a smirk. Garcia glanced at Reid, seeing that he was half-asleep and using Morgan to support his weight.

"Come on Pretty Boy; we're going home now." Reid just nodded, his sudden tiredness evaporating his energy. Wrapping his arms around Reid's waist, Morgan carefully guided his younger lover to Hotch's car. He half fell-half sat down in the passenger's seat, and Morgan took the driver's seat. He waved a good-bye to Garcia and Hotch before heading home...

"**...The deal still stands, BTW. And considering there's only two chaps left, it's a good deal :) hehehhe...R&R?..."**


	18. Home

"**...Lat official chap-epilogue after this! Thnx everyone! It was a fun trip!..."**

Pain-Chapter 18

Home

Spencer Reid was out within minutes of the car taking off. Morgan glanced over at him every once in a while, taking in his beautiful and elegant features. He looked so peaceful when he slept- something that he was almost certain he hadn't been for a few days now. Morgan was just happy that everything had worked out in the end; he missed his Spencer so much, and he just wanted to take him home and forget what he had done to him...

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Hotch asked, risking a look at Garcia.

"I think it'll take some time, but yeah, they'll be okay. I mean, they rushed into their relationship the first time, so I hope that they realize they need to slow it down a bit." Garcia replied.

"How long have they been dating?"

"A few weeks-a month at most." Garcia answered.

"And they were already going to...?"

"Yeah." Garcia sighed. "And considering what both of them have been through, it probably wasn't a good idea on either of their parts."

"What's done is done, I guess." Hotch concluded as he turned his head back to the road. "We'll just have to keep an eye on them."

"I suppose you're right." Garcia replied sadly. After that, silence engulfed the atmosphere and neither of them said another word...

Morgan carried Reid back to his apartment and laid him down on his own bed. He pulled up a chair next to him and watched over him like a hawk. There was no way he was going to let him out of his site after what had happened over the past two weeks.

As he thought over what exactly had happened, he reached for his phone. He scrolled down his contact list until he found the name he was looking for.

"Ah, Derek Morgan.. I was hoping you'd call."

"Yeah, Dr. Fitz, it's been too long." Morgan sighed. "And I want to fix that."

"Well, I'm glad to hear from you. Would you like to schedule an appointment?"

"I would, actually...and a refill."

"What made you change your mind?" Dr. Fitz asked, the sound of pen scribbling on paper in the background.

"I realized that I was an idiot."

"You're dodging my questions now?" Dr. Fitz smirked.

"It's a long story, Doc." Morgan replied, laughing humorlessly.

"Well, I'm sure you'll tell me all about it next Wednesday."

"Good." Morgan said. "And thank you."

"Any time." With that, Dr. Fitz hung up.

Morgan turned his attention back to Reid after he placed the phone down. He pushed a stray strand of hair out of the younger man's face before pulling the blankets over top of him. Then, he sat back down on his chair, his eyes never once leaving Spencer, his Spencer...

When Spencer Reid woke up, the first thing his saw was his boyfriend staring at him. He gave him a tired smile, but he was in return given a frown. "What is it?" Reid asked.

"You're really pale." Morgan got up and sat at the edge on his bed. He put his hand on his forehead, automatically feeling how hot he was. "I'm pretty sure you have a fever." he mumbled.

"Would explain why I've been so tired lately..." Reid muttered. When he saw Morgan heading toward the door, he moaned. "Don't leave me." he whined.

"Don't worry Pretty Boy; I'm going to call us in for the next two days. You need to rest."

"Not even a day after we get back together and I'm already sick." Reid muttered under his breath. "Just our luck."

A few minutes later, Morgan came back in with a water bottle and a sleeve of crackers. "Hotch said that it'll be fine. In the meantime, you're on house arrest. Hydrate, eat crackers, drink soap, and, if you're up to it, cuddle with your boyfriend."

"Hmm...Can we start with the last one?" Reid asked, a small smile on his face.

"Only if you want." Morgan said, sounding a bit uneasy.

"I trust you, Morgan." Reid reassured. "And...and I'm kind of freezing." he added in a small, childish voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Come here. I'm cold."

"Alright." he sighed. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around Reid, whose head automatically fell on his chest. His eyes fluttered closed as he shivered. Morgan noticed that Reid was sweating and sighed again. 'Cold sweats,' he thought, 'never a good sign.'

"Morgan, I'm not that sick. Don't worry so much."

"You know I'm always going to worry about you." Morgan said with a smile. "And besides, I'm not taking orders from you."

"Psh, we'll see how long that one lasts." Reid muttered.

"Is that a challenge?" Morgan asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know-too tired to tell." Reid replied.

"Well, maybe if you'd stop getting sick..."

"You know, this is all your fault." Reid said suddenly.

"Oh, how so?"

"I used to never get sick until I started dating you. I mean, the occasional flu and cold, but not as much as I do now. Call it psychosomatic, but I'm not so sure..."

"God, you're a pain in the ass when you're sick, aren't you?" Morgan smirked.

"I blame the sickness itself." Reid started. "Screws with your brain and all that fun stuff."

"Wow, Spencer telling a joke. You must be out of it."

"You're not nice tonight." Reid pouted.

"Well, I don't think either of us are acting like ourselves tonight. Being so far away from each other and all...I guess we're just getting used to things again."

"Yeah, I guess." Reid replied with a yawn. "Either way, it's good to be home."

"It is." Morgan said, nodding his head. He was going to add another comment, but when he looked back at Reid, he was asleep. With a smile on his face, Morgan closed his eye.

"Yeah,it is good to be home..."

Fin

"**...Ta-da! Nice piece of fluffy crap! One more left. SQUEAL!...And I hope you guys see why they're kinda AU toward the end. If you don't, just drop a review/PM..." **


	19. A Future to Look Forward to

"**...Well, here it is: the epilogue! It seems my contest bit worked. Hehehe...How about one last review? I love you all! Thnx for reading!.."**

Pain-Epilogue

A Future to Look Forward to

1 Year Later...

Spencer Reid smiled as Derek Morgan guided him back to their table in the restaurant. The team had just gotten off a particularly rough case, and they decided to go out to eat before heading home. Instead of going to their usual bar and club atmosphere, they decided to go to a more classy sit-down restaurant.

"So, long long has it been?" Garcia asked.

"One year, three months, 27 days, 6 hours, 2 minutes, 23...24...25..." Spencer replied, smirking.

"Alright smart ass, a simple 'about a year' would have sufficed." Morgan laughed.

"Well, she asked..." Spencer mumbled, blushing. Morgan 'awed' at how cute his 'pretty boy' looked before stealing a quick kiss from him. Spencer's blush deepened to a tomato red.

"Leave Spence alone." JJ scolded. "Can't you see you've done enough damage for one night?"

Morgan lowered his head, his mind racing back to the night Spencer had offered himself to him, and, in return, he hurt him- he hurt his Spencer. Reid sensed his partner's unease and laced his fingers into him. "It's over, Morgan, things are different now." he whispered. No one except JJ overhead, and she immediately smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that..." she quickly covered.

"Ah, no. It's not your fault." Morgan reassured. "I knew what you meant. I've...I've just been thinking about that a lot lately." Morgan could see Spencer was about to protest, but he cut him off. "Truth is, Spencer, I've been thinking about us a lot."

"Morgan, you know how I feel about you and-" Morgan stopped Spencer's rant, knowing that he was thinking he was about to say something bad and/or terrifying.

"Spencer, I've been thinking about yes, but not like that."

"Then why have you been thinking about us?"

"I've been thinking about how much I love you, and how much you mean to me. I've been thinking about all the wonderful things you've added to my life. All the times you've scared to the hell out of me when we were on the field and you got hurt. The way you comforted me when I needed someone to trust. How much you trust me, even after all we've been through. The patience you've had with me when I've lost my temper and left you crying at your apartment, fearing that if I stayed I'd end up hurting you." Suddenly, Morgan stood up and keeled on one knee. "And, most importantly, I've been thinking about how amazing it would be to spend forever with you."

Spencer and Morgan could hear the women at the table squeal, clasping hands together as they watched the two men excitedly. "Spencer Reid, I will _never _fully understand you, but I know that you'll never fully understand me. I've accepted that, but I've also accepted that I'll love you no matter want. I don't know what I would ever do without you, and I don't want to wait to find out." He fished through his pocket and brought out a red velvet box. He pulled out the ring that rested inside it, and he held it with one hand, the other holding Spencer's hand. "Spencer Reid, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Reid squealed. He jumped out of his chair and hugged Morgan, who in return picked him up so he would land on his lap instead of the floor.

"I love, Spencer." he laughed as he hugged Spencer closer to him.

"I just...I can't believe I'm engaged!" Spencer cried.

Morgan pushed Spencer's tears away, knowing they were happy tears. "Ah, now none of that. I hope I never have to see you cry again, even if they're happy tears."

"Well, I can't promise you that." Spencer replied with a small laugh.

"I can't believe you guys are getting married! That's so fantastic!" Prentiss exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Well, at least you have a boyfriend now." Garcia interjected.

"How is Sam, anyways?" Rossi asked.

"Oh, he's good. Right now he's in Russia on business. It's good to know that so many countries are going eco-friendly. His new business is really kicking off." Prentiss replied.

"Oh, that's right! He started that new company that helps other businesses make their products and services better for the environment." Hotch said. "I think that's really great; it's about time someone helped the rest of us out." he joked.

"Hey, maybe Sam can help make our wedding the first 'green wedding'." Reid suggested.

"Hmm, that's not a bad idea. I mean, why not? We're going to have to hire someone to help us, anyways." Morgan smiled.

"Well, I'll give him a call and see what we can do." Prentiss agreed. "Why not have a unique wedding for a unique couple?"

"Wow, that was pretty bad." Garcia said, popping her 'p' "Some pretty corny things have been said tonight, but I think that tops them all."

Prentiss was about to comment, but Rossi shook his head. "Let it go, Prentiss. It's really not worth it."

"Seriously though, it's great to see you two together, I mean, officially." JJ smiled. "Marrying Will was the best decision I made. You'll know what I mean after a few weeks of marriage or after a rough case."

Spencer and Morgan smiled at each other, holding hands. "I'm sure you're right." Morgan nodded.

After that, the team broke off into group chatter, their conversations varying from yesterday's news to what they had for dinner. Spencer just smiled as he listened to his team talk about meaningless things. He stared at his engagement ring, his thoughts screaming at him, telling him to be happy. In truth, he was very happy, but he was equally terrified. Relationships were not one of Reid's area of expertize, and he was so nervous that he would make a mistake and screw the whole thing up.

"Relax Spencer, we'll figure it out together." Morgan whispered. "I'm just as new to long-term relationships as you are, but I think that between your brains and brawns, we'll figure something out."

"Yeah, I know." Reid sighed. "I just...Never mind."

"What is it?"

"I don't know what I'm thinking. My mind is racing so fast with so many different emotions, and I just...I just don't know..."

"That feeling's called love, Pretty Boy." Morgan smirked.

"It' almost like a love-hate relationship all on its own, isn't it?" Reid joked.

"Yeah, you could say that." Morgan laughed.

"Hey, why don't we go home? I'm exhausted, and I want to be alone with you right now." Reid asked after a minute of silence.

"I do." Morgan answered, earning a slap from Reid. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Come on, let's go." Reid said, rolling his eye.

Together, the two lovers walked hand-in-hand out of the restaurant, knowing that they had a future that they could look forward to as long as they were together...

"**...It's DONE! YAY! This had to be the WORST ending I have ever written,though. It's so tacky! Ah well. You get them every once in a while :) Once again, thnx everyone for reading; I am sooo thrilled I had such a huge amount of people reading this! A far as future fics go, I'm going to finish up two of my stories (I think) before I start posting my newest one (see profile). And remember-it not to late to enter the CM Ladies Contest! And now, for the last time for this story, R&R?... hehehehe..." **


End file.
